I only just realised, as I prepared this accompanying blog post, that I didn't talk about one of the points in the overview: food. One of my fondest memories as a child living in Singapore and now as an adult visiting there is the food. It's
I have done some more work on the idea. For a start I did not like the harsh edges and cut circles, so made it slightly different. I also had concerns on the circle hitting the targets as this may cause timing issues perhaps.
Looks good. But I also tried larger and it had trouble reading at an angle, and I think because I had Truchet coded the alignment marks needed on larger codes.
So I made them rectangular, e.g. same code as above with alignment mark intact.
Now it reads better at an angle. (tested on iPhone camera and an app). This allows the 45 degree shown at the top of this blog post.
Do not blame me if you now have a migraine, please.
Oh, and if you are interested, this is created as a proper QR code, but with a grid of black/white circles on top... I have made a video https://www.youtube.com/shorts/9ufN2cpsbPA
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Back in the days of analog phones and fax machines, I used to get asked
to come up with solutions to random problems that people were having
with them. One of them involved a single phone line, a "fax switcher",
an actual fax machine, and not wanting to wake other people up when a
fax was involved. Here's how that went.
Friends of the family had a good-sized house and they ran some kind of
business that had started getting faxes at all hours. They had a single
phone line and didn't feel like getting another one for whatever
reason. They wanted to be able to get a fax without having all of the
other house phones ringing at all hours of the day and night when it's
"meant for the machine".
The dad of the family bought this "fax switcher" box, but couldn't
figure out exactly how to tie it in. Somehow, they found out that I had
done some small-time phone wiring adjustments and called me over to
help.
The box worked like this: it would pick up the phone and would just
listen to it for a few seconds. If it heard the CNG tone from a calling
fax machine (beeeep!), then it would punch the call through to the "FAX"
port on the back. It did this by putting the right flavor of voltage
jazz on that port to make the machine see it and pick up. Then it
connected the line port to the fax port and just hung out until the
call was over.
This same box had a "VOICE" port on the back, and in the event it didn't
hear the soothing tones of a calling fax machine, it would time out and
would push its locally-generated ring voltage down that port instead.
If you had some phones plugged into that, they'd ring, and you'd know to
pick them up.
(I should note that the box played a nasty fake ringback tone to the
caller during this phase... and yes, since it answered, it supervised,
and the caller was going to pay for the call, even if nobody was home!)
The question was: how to get the rest of the house (regular phones)
"behind" this box so they wouldn't ring when the call actually came in?
Their 1960s house had all of its phone jacks wired in a way that wasn't
unusual for the time but which made it ugly for this problem.
One very long length of cord came from the demarc box out back and
stopped off at every jack. The installer actually just stripped back
the outer insulation, then the inner insulation on the primary pair
(red/green), and looped the now-bare copper around the terminal screws
on the jacks. They did all of this without ever cutting the wire.
Very clever.
I suggested we could just cut it in half at the first jack (in the
kitchen), so the box would be the first thing on the line and the whole
rest of the house would sit behind it. That didn't fly, since it meant
the switcher box (and probably the actual fax machine) would have to go
in the kitchen, too. They wanted all of the mess out of the way in the
big bedroom on the first floor, and wouldn't you know it, that was the
*last* jack on the line. That seemed like a pain but it turned out to
be rather helpful.
The solution ended up being something kind of nasty, but it did work.
That one long cord actually contained two pairs in case the residents
ever wanted a second line. That is, in addition to the red/green, they
also had a yellow/black pair in there, just hanging out, not doing
anything. It didn't "stop off" at any of the jacks, but it was in fact
present and ran interrupted from end to end.
I figured, okay, let's "cut the line in half" in the kitchen jack, but
do it in such a way that it bridges the incoming line (from the outside
box) to the yellow/black. Then it'll travel all the way around the
house, untouched, until it lands at the last jack in their bedroom.
Then I just wired up that jack to have the yellow/black on line 2, and
bought a goofy little splitter thing from Radio Shack to make sense of
it. This was a six dollar plastic piece that would split a two-line
jack into two single-line jacks and a pass-through.
So, position 1 on this thing had line 1 as primary. Position 2 on this
thing had line 2 as primary. Position 3 on this thing was another "four
wires, two lines", just like the jack it plugged into.
The fax switcher's LINE jack was connected to position 2 (yellow/black,
being fed from the bridge behind the kitchen jack) and its VOICE jack
was connected to position 1. In so doing, the box itself drove the rest
of the house "backwards" and allowed those other phones to operate.
The best part of doing it this way is that I didn't have to go around to
open up the other jacks in the rest of the house. They were just fine
staying on red/green.
This worked and they loved it, but I was mildly concerned. Their whole
telco setup was now reliant on this dumb little box staying plugged in
and working exactly as I had set it up. If it came unplugged or
something else bad happened to it, they'd have no phone service anywhere
in the house. (I'm not sure if it was smart enough to short together
the VOICE and LINE jacks on power failure. It was random consumer-grade
plastic junk.)
For that reason, I also brought them a tiny little "patch cable" thing
(that Radio Shack also sold for some reason) and told them "if you ever
remove this box, you HAVE TO connect positions 1 and 2 with this little
cord". I sure hope they remembered that.
I can't even imagine what happened if they ever sold that house. I'm
sure someone came along later and screamed at the maniac that rigged it
up that way.
Well, uh, hi, I'm that maniac, I guess.
Knowing what I know now over 30 years later, I think I would have left a
note in the wall for the next person to find it. "Hey, this is why we
did this, and you just need to patch red & green back together in this
one place and you'll be back to where Ma Bell left it originally". The
person who came along later would still be miffed, but at least they'd
know why someone went and did something that bizarre.
Who, Me? No two mistakes are the same, but The Register thinks they're all worth celebrating each Monday when we serve up a fresh edition of Who, Me? – the reader-contributed column in which we share your most magnificent messes, and your means of making it out alive.…
Using AI to analyse photos and send alerts if I've forgotten to take the bins out isn't going to revolutionise my life, no more so than using it to describe who's at the mailbox when a letter arrives and at the front door when
My shoes are getting a bit worn. They have lasted well. It was a big change some years ago when I realised I needed thick socks and shoes several sizes bigger - before which I was plagued with pain in my feet.
The shows I have now are indeed the ones that caused me to trip and break things!
So get a new pair, and having shows that work, and are comfortable, I want to get the same.
Why the hell can you not get the same thing?!
Anyway, similar sounding ones, hiking shoes as it happens, but wide and size 13½, so yay.
I click Apple Pay - as that is always very quick and simple.
But no! I get told address incomplete and apparently it wants "Phonetic First Name" and "Phonetic Last Name".
What the hell is a phonetic name?
I don't have time for this, so I cancel and click "Add to basket".
I go to basket and click to pay and, well it is expensive, but I am am not too surprised really, but even then, seems a lot. So it has an "order summary", and that shows the shows and the price.
Note, no need for phonetic anything this time.
Oh fuck it - I can't bet arsed - if they fit as well as the ones I have now and last years as these have, not really an issue.
It says OK, and that is 2 pairs of shoes!
WTF?!?
I did not order two
I clicked "add to basket" exactly once
The order summary did not show a quantity
Bloody stupid ordering page.
But what he hell, if they fit, then next time I will have shoes ready. I was pondering if I find shoes that fit well why not order 10 pairs so I have shoes to last probably the rest of my life, so two pairs is not really an issue.
Oxford University's proposed Warneford Park redevelopment of the Warneford Hospital site would be welcome except for its defective and dangerous transport plan. 1) The traffic from the planned increase of 230 car parking spaces would undermine safe and sustainable transport across Headington, both by directly elevating road danger and by taking space and time that […]
The once mighty Wintel supercontinent is cracking in more ways than you might think
Opinion Say what you like about its role in the destruction of civilization, the net is still good for a few party games. Take bets on when the "Wintel Empire" was first reported as under attack, and by what. Then go and find out.…
Network Time Protocol sometimes needs help from a temporal cops
On Call Why, look at the time! 7:30 AM on Friday morning, the moment at which The Register regularly runs a fresh instalment of On Call, the reader-contributed column that shares your finest tech support stories.…
Emma Sing or Helena Rowland - who should replace England's star full-back Ellie Kildunne for Sunday's Women's Rugby World Cup quarter-final with Scotland?
Busy lawyers on hold for five hours as staff handhold users into deploying the security measure
US courts have warned of delays as PACER, the system for accessing court documents, struggles to support users enrolling in its mandatory MFA program.…
A small group of Scotland fans make their way to Zalaegerszeg in Hungary for Monday's World Cup qualifier with Belarus - even though the match is being played behind closed doors.
Before yesterdays test, I saw a lot of people commenting on articles saying that they were switching off the function on their phone, so that they would not receive emergency alerts from the government. Why would they want to switch it off?
Basically a what if moment when a group of teenagers who got nothing better to do but harass the unfortunate person near them.
There are rules of engagement that most adults would think of before they confront them teens.
I am not the confroting type especially in public, and I remembered a friend who was walking down the side street got his cap yanked off by a bunch of teens in bikes and he did try to take it from them but the boys pass it around as they made their escape while laughing. My friend let them go obviously. He didn't report it though as he thinks it won't do anything.
But if the situation is a bit different like, you're inside the tube, or in the corner of the street, it will be different. Question is, what will or rather, what can you do in this situation?
We’ve had a lunch thief at work for months. Stuff disappears from the breakroom fridge between 12:15–12:30 like clockwork. At first I was furious, my glass container kept coming back greasy or not at all.
One day I got in early and saw someone I don’t know well (new temp) standing with the fridge open just… staring. He closed it and walked out with nothing. He looked wrecked, like he’d been crying in his car. That image would not leave my head.
The next week I started bringing two lunches. One in my usual container, and a second in a cheap grocery-store plastic box with a sticky note that just says “for whoever forgot.” I put it in the back left corner where the thief always strikes.
The “theft” stopped being random and started being predictable. The container is always returned rinsed. Sometimes there’s a folded paper towel under the box like he’s trying to be neat. Last Friday there was a single peppermint left on top. Dumb little detail, but it got me.
Coworkers think I set up cameras or confronted someone because my “real” lunch stopped going missing. I didn’t. I just… redirected the problem. It’s not heroic; it’s probably enabling. But I can afford rice and chicken more than someone can afford being hungry at work.
I’m not asking for a medal. I’m confessing that I was angrier than I want to admit, and now I’m weirdly protective of a stranger who eats at 12:20. If management installs cameras, I won’t stop them. Until then, I’ll keep packing two.
More from Mike Caulfield (see also the SIFT method). He starts with a fantastic example of Google's AI mode usually correctly handling a common piece of misinformation but occasionally falling for it (the curse of non-deterministic systems), then shows an example if what he calls a "sorting prompt" as a follow-up:
What is the evidence for and against this being a real photo of Shirley Slade?
The response starts with a non-committal "there is compelling evidence for and against...", then by the end has firmly convinced itself that the photo is indeed a fake. It reads like a fact-checking variant of "think step by step".
Mike neatly describes a problem I've also observed recently where "hallucination" is frequently mis-applied as meaning any time a model makes a mistake:
The term hallucination has become nearly worthless in the LLM discourse. It initially described a very weird, mostly non-humanlike behavior where LLMs would make up things out of whole cloth that did not seem to exist as claims referenced any known source material or claims inferable from any known source material. Hallucinations as stuff made up out of nothing. Subsequently people began calling any error or imperfect summary a hallucination, rendering the term worthless.
In this example is the initial incorrect answers were not hallucinations: they correctly summarized online content that contained misinformation. The trick then is to encourage the model to look further, using "sorting prompts" like these:
Facts and misconceptions and hype about what I posted
What is the evidence for and against the claim I posted
Look at the most recent information on this issue, summarize how it shifts the analysis (if at all), and provide link to the latest info
I appreciated this closing footnote:
Should platforms have more features to nudge users to this sort of iteration? Yes. They should. Getting people to iterate investigation rather than argue with LLMs would be a good first step out of this mess that the chatbot model has created.
I agree with the intellectual substance of virtually every common critique of AI. And it's very clear that turning those critiques into a competition about who can frame them in the most scathing way online has done zero to slow down adoption, even if much of that is due to default bundling.
At what point are folks going to try literally any other tactic than condescending rants? Does it matter that LLM apps are at the top of virtually every app store nearly every day because individual people are choosing to download them, and the criticism hasn't been effective in slowing that?
The SIFT method is "an evaluation strategy developed by digital literacy expert, Mike Caulfield, to help determine whether online content can be trusted for credible or reliable sources of information."
This looks extremely useful as a framework for helping people more effectively consume information online (increasingly gathered with the help of LLMs).
Stop. "Be aware of your emotional response to the headline or information in the article" to protect against clickbait, and don't read further or share until you've applied the other three steps.
Investigate the Source. Apply lateral reading, checking what others say about the source rather than just trusting their "about" page.
Find Better Coverage. "Use lateral reading to see if you can find other sources corroborating the same information or disputing it" and consult trusted fact checkers if necessary.
Trace Claims, Quotes, and Media to their Original Context. Try to find the original report or referenced material to learn more and check it isn't being represented out of context.
This framework really resonates with me: it formally captures and improves on a bunch of informal techniques I've tried to apply in my own work.
When I wrote about how good ChatGPT with GPT-5 is at search yesterday I nearly added a note about how comparatively disappointing Google's efforts around this are.
I'm glad I left that out, because it turns out Google's new "AI mode" is genuinely really good! It feels very similar to GPT-5 search but returns results much faster.
www.google.com/ai (not available in the EU, as I found out this morning since I'm staying in France for a few days.)
Anthropic but lots of physical books and cut them up and scan them for training data. Do any other AI labs do the same thing?
I'll be honest: I hadn't spent much time with AI mode for a couple of reasons:
My expectations of "AI mode" were extremely low based on my terrible experience of "AI overviews"
The name "AI mode" is so generic!
Based on some initial experiments I'm impressed - Google finally seem to be taking full advantage of their search infrastructure for building out truly great AI-assisted search.
I do have one disappointment: AI mode will tell you that it's "running 5 searches" but it won't tell you what those searches are! Seeing the searches that were run is really important for me in evaluating the likely quality of the end results. I've had the same problem with Google's Gemini app in the past - the lack of transparency as to what it's doing really damages my trust.
"Don't use chatbots as search engines" was great advice for several years... until it wasn't.
I wrote about how good OpenAI's o3 was at using its Bing-backed search tool back in April. GPT-5 feels even better.
I've started calling it my Research Goblin. I can assign a task to it, no matter how trivial or complex, and it will do an often unreasonable amount of work to search the internet and figure out an answer.
This is excellent for satisfying curiosity, and occasionally useful for more important endeavors as well.
I always run my searches by selecting the "GPT-5 Thinking" model from the model picker - in my experience this leads to far more comprehensive (albeit much slower) results.
Here are some examples from just the last couple of days. Every single one of them was run on my phone, usually while I was doing something else. Most of them were dictated using the iPhone voice keyboard, which I find faster than typing. Plus, it's fun to talk to my Research Goblin.
They used to be rubber bouncy travelators at Heathrow and they were really fun, have all been replaced by metal ones now and if so, when did that happen?
I was traveling through Heathrow airport pondering what had happened to the fun bouncy rubber travelators.
Here's what I got. Research Goblin narrowed it down to some time between 2014-2018 but, more importantly, found me this delightful 2024 article by Peter Hartlaub in the San Francisco Chronicle with a history of the SFO bouncy walkways, now also sadly retired.
Identify this building
Identify this building in reading
This is a photo I snapped out of the window on the train. It thought for 1m4s and correctly identified it as The Blade.
Starbucks UK cake pops
Starbucks in the UK don't sell cake pops! Do a deep investigative dive
The Starbucks in Exeter railway station didn't have cake pops, and the lady I asked didn't know what they were.
Here's the result. It turns out Starbucks did launch cake pops in the UK in September 2023 but they aren't available at all outlets, in particular the licensed travel locations such as the one at Exeter St Davids station.
I particularly enjoyed how it established definitive proof by consulting the nutrition and allergen guide PDF on starbucks.co.uk, which does indeed list both the Birthday Cake Pop (my favourite) and the Cookies and Cream one (apparently discontinued in the USA, at least according to r/starbucks).
Britannica to seed Wikipedia
Someone on hacker News said:
> I was looking at another thread about how Wikipedia was the best thing on the internet. But they only got the head start by taking copy of Encyclopedia Britannica and everything else
Find what they meant by that
The result. It turns out Wikipedia did seed itself with content from the out-of-copyright 1911 Encyclopædia Britannica... but that project took place in 2006, five years after Wikipedia first launched in 2001.
I asked:
What is the single best article I can link somebody to that explains the 1911 Britannica thing
Notably (for me anyway) I didn't feel the need to disclose my use of ChatGPT in finding that information - at this point that feels a little like disclosing that I ran a Google search.
Official name for the University of Cambridge
What is the official legal name of the university of Cambridge?
That first link gave me the citation I needed in order to be sure this was right.
Since this is my shortest example, here's a screenshot of the expanded "Thought for 19s" panel. I always expand the thoughts - seeing how it pulled together its answer is crucial for evaluating if the answer is likely to be useful or not.
History of the caverns in Exeter quay
Research On the waterfront restaurant in Exeter, is it dug into the cliffs somehow? History of the building, who built it, why and how
We were out to dinner here and noticed that the interior of the restaurant appeared to be a space dug into the cliff, which piqued my interest.
This was the ChatGPT session that inspired the Research Goblin nickname. It just kept on digging!
The first reply took 2m40s and confirmed that yes, these quay buildings were carved into the red sandstone cliff in the 1820s-1830s.
ChatGPT with GPT-5 really likes to suggest additional steps it can take. In this case:
If you’d like, I can dig up the exact Historic England entry that covers the “Southern Warehouse” address and overlay it on a map of the vaults.
I often say "yes" purely out of curiosity to see what it will do next, and the offer to "overlay it on a map" was irresistible, like how would it even do that?
It did a ton of extra searches, found latitude and longitude coordinates for the restaurant (from Wikimedia Commons) and the warehouse buildings (from National Heritage List for England via Wikipedia), showed me that data in a table and then used Python to render this image:
Yeah, so that one is a bit of a miss!
But... the underlying research chain, as always, provided fascinating. I noticed that at one point it had searched for "Exeter Quay vaults map PDF", which inspired my next question:
Did you find any PDF diagrams, showing the tunnels into the cliff
2m20s later it had found a planning document and a letting brochure, both PDFs, but noted that neither of them had the diagram I wanted. Evidently it actually "reads" the PDFs it finds as part of its activities, since it appears to have knowledge of the images contained within them as well as the text.
It concluded with this intriguing note:
There’s strong evidence that a detailed plan/section does exist in the Exeter Archaeology report often cited by planners—“Archaeological, Historical and Conservation Study of the Exeter Canal Basin” (Exeter Archaeology Report 00.18, 2000)—but it isn’t online; it’s just cited in planning documents. You’d likely need to request it via the Devon Heritage Centre/Historic Environment Record.
If you want, I can keep hunting specialist archives for a digitized copy or a different report that includes the vault layouts.
Obviously I said "Yes do that" and 2m24s later it chucked out a whole host of extra links, an apology that it still hadn't found a detailed plan diagram and, under the section heading "What I recommend next (actionable + exact ask)":
If you’re happy, I can draft an email you can paste to the right archivists. [...]
I’m researching the cliff-cut vaults behind The Quay (On The Waterfront / Kings Wharf).
Could you supply scans or copies of any plans/sections/diagrams of these vaults—especially those in Exeter Archaeology Report 00.18 (2000) (Archaeological, Historical and Conservation Study of the Exeter Canal Basin) and any EMAFU/Exeter Archaeology drawings for “The Quay” showing the vault/tunnel layouts cut into the red sandstone cliff?
For reference: NHLE list entries 1223045 (1–4 Warehouse Vaults), 1223046 (6–11 Warehouse Vaults), and 1223114 (14–25 Vaults).
Many thanks!
It's a good thing my Research Goblin doesn't have the ability to send email (which we already know is very risky business) or at this point I wouldn't be surprised if it started autonomously bothering archivists on my behalf!
Aldi vs Lidl
In UK supermarket terms compare lidl and aldi
I saw an Aldi and a Lidl next to each other in Exeter and was curious as to how they compare. In this case my Research Goblin went way deeper than I had intended, thinking for 1m25s about market share and price surveys and loyalty schemes and answering with ten paragraphs of detailed analysis.
I replied:
Yeah, I just wanted the basic vibes like is one fancier than the other?
It thought for 6 seconds, didn't run any additional searches and replied:
Short version: neither is “fancy” — both are no-frills discounters — but Lidl often feels a touch more polished, while Aldi feels a touch more bare-bones. [...]
Since I was now enjoying having my Goblin express judgement over British supermarket chains I said:
How do they rate in fancinews compared to all of the other major UK supermarket chains?
(That was a typo for "fanciness" which it figured out.)
It thought for another 1m1s, ran 7 searches, consulted 27 URLs and gave me back a ranking that looked about right to me.
AI labs scanning books for training data
Anthropic bought lots of physical books and cut them up and scan them for training data. Do any other AI labs do the same thing?
Relevant to today's big story. Research Goblin was unable to find any news stories or other evidence that any labs other than Anthropic are engaged in large scale book scanning for training data. That's not to say it isn't happening, but it's happening very quietly if that's the case.
GPT-5 for search feels competent
The word that best describes how I feel about GPT-5 search is that it feels competent.
I've thrown all sorts of things at it over the last few weeks and it rarely disappoints me. It almost always does better than if I were to dedicate the same amount of time to manually searching myself, mainly because it's much faster at running searches and evaluating the results than I am.
I particularly love that it works so well on mobile. I used to reserve my deeper research sessions to a laptop where I could open up dozens of tabs. I'll still do that for higher stakes activities but I'm finding the scope of curiosity satisfaction I can perform on the go with just my phone has increased quite dramatically.
I've mostly stopped using OpenAI's Deep Research feature, because ChatGPT search now gives me the results I'm interested in far more quickly for most queries.
As a developer who builds software on LLMs I see ChatGPT search as the gold standard for what can be achieved using tool calling combined with chain-of-thought. Techniques like RAG are massively more effective if you can reframe them as several levels of tool calling with a carefully selected set of powerful search tools.
The way that search tool integrates with reasoning is key, because it allows GPT-5 to execute a search, reason about the results and then execute follow-up searches - all as part of that initial "thinking" process.
As with all things AI, GPT-5 search rewards intuition gathered through experience. Any time a curious thought pops into my head I try to catch it and throw it at my Research Goblin. If it's something I'm certain it won't be able to handle then even better! I can learn from watching it fail.
I've been trying out hints like "go deep" which seem to trigger a more thorough research job. I enjoy throwing those at shallow and unimportant questions like the UK Starbucks cake pops one just to see what happens!
You can throw questions at it which have a single, unambiguous answer - but I think questions which are broader and don't have a "correct" answer can be a lot more fun. The UK supermarket rankings above are a great example of that.
Since I love a questionable analogy for LLMs Research Goblin is... well, it's a goblin. It's very industrious, not quite human and not entirely trustworthy. You have to be able to outwit it if you want to keep it gainfully employed.
I am once again shocked at how much better image retrieval performance you can get if you embed highly opinionated summaries of an image, a summary that came out of a visual language model, than using CLIP embeddings themselves. If you tell the LLM that the summary is going to be embedded and used to do search downstream. I had one system go from 28% recall at 5 using CLIP to 75% recall at 5 using an LLM summary.
New not-quite-MIT licensed model from Chinese Moonshot AI, a follow-up to the highly regarded Kimi-K2 model they released in July.
This one is an incremental improvement - I've seen it referred to online as "Kimi K-2.1". It scores a little higher on a bunch of popular coding benchmarks, reflecting Moonshot's claim that it "demonstrates significant improvements in performance on public benchmarks and real-world coding agent tasks".
More importantly the context window size has been increased from 128,000 to 256,000 tokens.
Like its predecessor this is a big model - 1 trillion parameters in a mixture-of-experts configuration with 384 experts, 32B activated parameters and 8 selected experts per token.
I used Groq's playground tool to try "Generate an SVG of a pelican riding a bicycle" and got this result, at a very healthy 445 tokens/second taking just under 2 seconds total:
RDF has the same problems as the SQL schemas with information scattered. What fields mean requires documentation.
There - they have a name on a person. What name? Given? Legal? Chosen? Preferred for this use case?
You only have one ID for Apple eh? Companies are complex to model, do you mean Apple just as someone would talk about it? The legal structure of entities that underpins all major companies, what part of it is referred to?
I spent a long time building identifiers for universities and companies (which was taken for ROR later) and it was a nightmare to say what a university even was. What’s the name of Cambridge? It’s not “Cambridge University” or “The university of Cambridge” legally. But it also is the actual name as people use it. [It's The Chancellor, Masters, and Scholars of the University of Cambridge]
The university of Paris went from something like 13 institutes to maybe one to then a bunch more. Are companies locations at their headquarters? Which headquarters?
Someone will suggest modelling to solve this but here lies the biggest problem:
The correct modelling depends on the questions you want to answer.
I wrote about the details of this case when it was found that Anthropic's training on book content was fair use, but they needed to have purchased individual copies of the books first... and they had seeded their collection with pirated ebooks from Books3, PiLiMi and LibGen.
The remaining open question from that case was the penalty for pirating those 500,000 books. That question has now been resolved in a settlement:
Anthropic has reached an agreement to pay “at least” a staggering $1.5 billion, plus interest, to authors to settle its class-action lawsuit. The amount breaks down to smaller payouts expected to be approximately $3,000 per book or work.
It's wild to me that a $1.5 billion settlement can feel like a win for Anthropic, but given that it's undisputed that they downloaded pirated books (as did Meta and likely many other research teams) the maximum allowed penalty was $150,000 per book, so $3,000 per book is actually a significant discount.
As far as I can tell this case sets a precedent for Anthropic's more recent approach of buying millions of (mostly used) physical books and destructively scanning them for training as covered by "fair use". I'm not sure if other in-flight legal cases will find differently.
To be clear: it appears it is legal, at least in the USA, to buy a used copy of a physical book (used = the author gets nothing), chop the spine off, scan the pages, discard the paper copy and then train on the scanned content. The transformation from paper to scan is "fair use".
If this does hold it's going to be a great time to be a bulk retailer of used books!
In the coming weeks, and if the court preliminarily approves the settlement, the website will provide to find a full and easily searchable listing of all works covered by the settlement.
In the meantime the Atlantic have a search engine to see if your work was included in LibGen, one of the pirated book sources involved in this case.
I had a look and it turns out the book I co-authored with 6 other people back in 2007 The Art & Science of JavaScript is in there, so maybe I'm due for 1/7th of one of those $3,000 settlements!
Update 2: Here's an interesting detail from the Washington Post story about the settlement:
Anthropic said in the settlement that the specific digital copies of books covered by the agreement were not used in the training of its commercially released AI models.
Update 3: I'm not confident that destroying the scanned books is a hard requirement here - I got that impression from this section of the summary judgment in June:
Here, every purchased print copy was copied in order to save storage space and to enable searchability as a digital copy. The print original was destroyed. One replaced the other. And, there is no evidence that the new, digital copy was shown, shared, or sold outside the company. This use was even more clearly transformative than those in Texaco, Google, and Sony Betamax (where the number of copies went up by at least one), and, of course, more transformative than those uses rejected in Napster (where the number went up by “millions” of copies shared for free with others).
After struggling for years trying to figure out why people think [Cloudflare] Durable Objects are complicated, I'm increasingly convinced that it's just that they sound complicated.
Feels like we can solve 90% of it by renaming DurableObject to StatefulWorker?
It's just a worker that has state. And because it has state, it also has to have a name, so that you can route to the specific worker that has the state you care about. There may be a sqlite database attached, there may be a container attached. Those are just part of the state.
As usual for these smaller models there's a Transformers.js demo (via) that runs directly in the browser (in Chrome variants) - Semantic Galaxy loads a ~400MB model and then lets you run embeddings against hundreds of text sentences, map them in a 2D space and run similarity searches to zoom to points within that space.
Any time I share my collection of tools built using vibe coding and AI-assisted development (now at 124, here's the definitive list) someone will inevitably complain that they're mostly trivial.
A lot of them are! Here's a list of some that I think are genuinely useful and worth highlighting:
OCR PDFs and images directly in your browser. This is the tool that started the collection, and I still use it on a regular basis. You can open any PDF in it (even PDFs that are just scanned images with no embedded text) and it will extract out the text so you can copy-and-paste it. It uses PDF.js and Tesseract.js to do that entirely in the browser. I wrote about how I originally built that here.
Image resize, crop, and quality comparison - I use this for every single image I post to my blog. It lets me drag (or paste) an image onto the page and then shows me a comparison of different sizes and quality settings, each of which I can download and then upload to my S3 bucket. I recently added a slightly janky but mobile-accessible cropping tool as well. Prompts.
Social Media Card Cropper - this is an even more useful image tool. Bluesky, Twitter etc all benefit from a 2x1 aspect ratio "card" image. I built this custom tool for creating those - you can paste in an image and crop and zoom it to the right dimensions. I use this all the time. Prompts.
Encrypt / decrypt message - I often run workshops where I want to distribute API keys to the workshop participants. This tool lets me encrypt a message with a passphrase, then share the resulting URL to the encrypted message and tell people (with a note on a slide) how to decrypt it. Prompt.
Jina Reader - enter a URL, get back a Markdown version of the page. It's a thin wrapper over the Jina Reader API, but it's useful because it adds a "copy to clipboard" button which means it's one of the fastest way to turn a webpage into data on a clipboard on my mobile phone. I use this several times a week. Prompts.
llm-prices.com - a pricing comparison and token pricing calculator for various hosted LLMs. This one started out as a tool but graduated to its own domain name. Here's the prompting development history.
Open Sauce 2025 - an unofficial schedule for the Open Sauce conference, complete with option to export to ICS plus a search tool and now-and-next. I built this entirely on my phone using OpenAI Codex, including scraping the official schedule - full details here.
Passkey experiment - a UI for trying out the Passkey / WebAuthn APIs that are built into browsers these days. Prompts.
Incomplete JSON Pretty Printer - do you ever find yourself staring at a screen full of JSON that isn't completely valid because it got truncated? This tool will pretty-print it anyway. Prompts.
Bluesky WebSocket Feed Monitor - I found out Bluesky has a Firehose API that can be accessed directly from the browser, so I vibe-coded up this tool to try it out. Prompts.
In putting this list together I realized I wanted to be able to link to the prompts for each tool... but those were hidden inside a collapsed <details><summary> element for each one. So I fired up OpenAI Codex and prompted:
Update the script that builds the colophon.html page such that the generated page has a tiny bit of extra JavaScript - when the page is loaded as e.g. https://tools.simonwillison.net/colophon#jina-reader.html it should notice the #jina-reader.html fragment identifier and ensure that the Development history details/summary for that particular tool is expanded when the page loads.
I'll be honest: I don't feel great about that post. I made an example of those two books to push my own agenda of encouraging "vibe coding" to avoid semantic diffusion but it felt (and feels) a bit mean.
... but maybe it had an effect? I recently spotted that Addy Osmani's book "Vibe Coding: The Future of Programming" has a new title, it's now called "Beyond Vibe Coding: From Coder to AI-Era Developer".
This title is so much better. Setting aside my earlier opinions, this positioning as a book to help people go beyond vibe coding and use LLMs as part of a professional engineering practice is a really great hook!
From Addy's new description of the book:
Vibe coding was never meant to describe all AI-assisted coding. It's a specific approach where you don't read the AI's code before running it. There's much more to consider beyond the prototype for production systems. [...]
AI-assisted engineering is a more structured approach that combines the creativity of vibe coding with the rigor of traditional engineering practices. It involves specs, rigor and emphasizes collaboration between human developers and AI tools, ensuring that the final product is not only functional but also maintainable and secure.
Amazon lists it as releasing on September 23rd. I'm looking forward to it.
I made it through the first dozen pages - it's actually quite readable.
It opens with a clear summary of the case so far, bold highlights mine:
Last year, this court ruled that Defendant Google LLC had violated Section 2 of the Sherman Act: “Google is a monopolist, and it has acted as one to maintain its monopoly.” The court found that, for more than a decade, Google had entered into distribution agreements with browser developers, original equipment manufacturers, and wireless carriers to be the out-of-the box, default general search engine (“GSE”) at key search access points. These access points were the most efficient channels for distributing a GSE, and Google paid billions to lock them up. The agreements harmed competition. They prevented rivals from accumulating the queries and associated data, or scale, to effectively compete and discouraged investment and entry into the market. And they enabled Google to earn monopoly profits from its search text ads, to amass an unparalleled volume of scale to improve its search product, and to remain the default GSE without fear of being displaced. Taken together, these agreements effectively “froze” the search ecosystem, resulting in markets in which Google has “no true competitor.”
There's an interesting generative AI twist: when the case was first argued in 2023 generative AI wasn't an influential issue, but more recently Google seem to be arguing that it is an existential threat that they need to be able to take on without additional hindrance:
The emergence of GenAl changed the course of this case. No witness at the liability trial testified that GenAl products posed a near-term threat to GSEs. The very first witness at the remedies hearing, by contrast, placed GenAl front and center as a nascent competitive threat. These remedies proceedings thus have been as much about promoting competition among GSEs as ensuring that Google’s dominance in search does not carry over into the GenAlI space. Many of Plaintiffs’ proposed remedies are crafted with that latter objective in mind.
I liked this note about the court's challenges in issuing effective remedies:
Notwithstanding this power, courts must approach the task of crafting remedies with a healthy dose of humility. This court has done so. It has no expertise in the business of GSEs, the buying and selling of search text ads, or the engineering of GenAl technologies. And, unlike the typical case where the court’s job is to resolve a dispute based on historic facts, here the court is asked to gaze into a crystal ball and look to the future. Not exactly a judge’s forte.
On to the remedies. These ones looked particularly important to me:
Google will be barred from entering or maintaining any exclusive contract
relating to the distribution of Google Search, Chrome, Google Assistant,
and the Gemini app. [...]
Google will not be required to divest Chrome; nor will the court include a
contingent divestiture of the Android operating system in the final
judgment. Plaintiffs overreached in seeking forced divesture of these key
assets, which Google did not use to effect any illegal restraints. [...]
Google will not be barred from making payments or offering other
consideration to distribution partners for preloading or placement of Google
Search, Chrome, or its GenAl products. Cutting off payments from Google
almost certainly will impose substantial —in some cases, crippling—
downstream harms to distribution partners, related markets, and consumers,
which counsels against a broad payment ban.
That looks like a huge sigh of relief for Mozilla, who were at risk of losing a sizable portion of their income if Google's search distribution revenue were to be cut off.
In response to the recent discourse about XSLT support in browsers, Jake Archibald shares a new-to-me alternative trick for making an XML document readable in a browser: adding the following element near the top of the XML:
That script.js will then be executed by the browser, and can swap out the XML with HTML by creating new elements using the correct namespace:
const htmlEl = document.createElementNS(
'http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml',
'html',
);
document.documentElement.replaceWith(htmlEl);
// Now populate the new DOM
I've just returned from a fourteen-day trip spent building, running and tearing down EMF, and as I sit on the plane writing this, as well as physical exhaustion, I am experiencing a whole host of emotions - happiness, wonder, determination, and also a strange sense of loss.
It is impossible to describe EMF to anyone who has not attended; while initially you might want to compare it to a normal festival, or something like Burning Man, it is fundamentally unlike almost any other event on Earth. The Dutch and German camps maybe come close, but even those have their own somewhat different vibe.
Over the course of my time heading up the logistics team over the last two weeks, I have done and seen such a wild variety of things that I'm never quite sure what was real. Among others, I watched a man play the US National Anthem on a tesla coil using a theremin; climbed up into a DJ booth in a solarpunk-themed Null Sector and pressed the "!! FIRE !!" button to light up the night sky with pillars of burning alcohol; exited the shower to hear HACK THE PLANET echo out over the field from the stage a quarter of a mile away; saw an inflatable t-rex driving a miniature Jurassic Park jeep, played games on a hillside using lasers, and refilled the duck flume several times (shortly after exclaiming "We have a duck flume?").
I've had many different development platforms over the years - from Notepad++
on library computers in my youth, to Gentoo and then Ubuntu installed on a
series of carefully-chosen laptops with working drivers, and then for the last
five years or so on Surface devices via the rather wonderful Windows Subsystem
for Linux (WSL).
Of course, in the WSL era I am still just running Ubuntu, but inside the
pseudo-VM that is the WSL subsystem of the Windows kernel. It's honestly pretty
great, and I regularly joke that I'm using Windows as the GUI layer to develop
on Linux.
Between the Steam Deck and WSL both being ascendant, maybe we finally got the
Year Of Linux On The Desktop, just not as we expected.
TLDR: I am looking for new developers and maintainers for Takahē who want to help in exchange for my mentorship, or I'll have to sunset the project.
I find it important to have hobbies that aren't the same as what I do for work, which is why an increasing number of them don't involve computers at all - I'm very happy building new things on my camper van, making weird geographic art, or hiking around bits of the Rockies.
However, I still love programming and systems work, and I'll always have at least one project going on the side that involves it - nothing beats the size and complexity of what you can create in just a few hours of coding. That said, I have two basic rules for my programming side projects:
There are many questionable things about American car culture, but the road
trip is not one of them. In a country as large and geographically varied as
the USA, road travel is not just a necessity, but it can also be the
attraction itself.
When I first moved to the USA, I had vague plans of doing some driving around
and enjoying the sheer alien-ness of tiny towns in the middle of nowhere, or
motels where you are somehow the only guest. Nine years in, I've done a decent
amount of that, but these days my attention is more focused around the
camper van that I spent half a year building.
I like to try and share a bit of the experience with those who want to see it,
and as well as posting pictures and videos, I've always liked the idea of
having a live map of where I am - even if it's just for friends and relatives
who are interested in my progress.
I had taken two months off from developing Takahē in the run up to PyCon US;
both due to pressures at work (and then, more recently, half the company being
laid off around me), as well as not quite being sure what I wanted to
build, exactly.
When I started the project, my main goal was to show that multi-domain support
for a single ActivityPub server was possible; once I had achieved that
relatively early on, I sort of fell down the default path of implementing a
lightweight clone of Mastodon/Twitter.
While this was good in terms of developing out the features we needed, it
always felt a bit like overhead I didn't really want; after all, if you're
implementing the Mastodon API like we do, all the dedicated apps for viewing
timelines and posting are always going to be better than what you ship with
a server.
Today is the 0.7 release of Takahē,
and things are really humming along now; this release marks the point where
we've built enough moderation and community features to make me happy that I
can open up takahe.social to registrations,
albeit with a user number cap.
We've also launched a Patreon for Takahē, in a
quest to make development and operation of Takahē more sustainable - and
work towards start paying some people to help out with the less exciting work
like triaging tickets, user support, and moderation of takahe.social. If you
want to volunteer directly, that's covered in our
Contributing docs.
There's some interesting technical topics I want to dig into today, though -
it's been a little while since my last blog post and ActivityPub and friends
continue to surprise.
Yesterday I pushed out the 0.5.0 release of Takahē,
and while there's plenty left to do, this release is somewhat of a milestone
in its own right, as it essentially marks the point where I've implemented
enough of ActivityPub to shift focus.
With the implementation of image posting in this release, there are now only
a few things left at a protocol level that I know I'm missing:
Custom emoji (these are custom per-server and a mapping of name-to-image
comes with each post)
So, after a few weeks of development, I'm happy enough with the state of
Takahē to issue its first official release - which I've chosen to number
0.3.0, because version numbers are made up and I can start where I want.
We're only releasing Docker images right now in order to try and keep the
support burden down (it removes having to worry about people's OS versions
and library environments), so you can find it on Docker Hub.
Twitter is - was - such a unique place. Somewhere where you can have the President
of the United States coexist with teenagers writing fan fiction; where
celebrities give personal insights into their lives while government
departments post memes about public safety;
the place that gave us @Horse_ebooks and @dril.
The "Fediverse", with Mastodon at its helm, is not this. It doesn't seem to want
to be, and I honestly think that's fine - as many thinkpieces have recently
said, the age of global social media might just be over. And given the effect
it's had on the world, maybe that's alright after all.
But there is still a void to fill, and as someone who enjoyed Twitter most
at its "medium" size, I think the ActivityPub ecosystem is well-placed to grow
into such a space. But first, I think there's some important things we have to
discuss about it.
When I decided to properly start using the Fediverse via
my own Mastodon server,
I knew it was probably inevitable that I would end up writing my own server -
and, well, here we are!
My new server is called Takahē, and
it's built in Django and also specifically with Python's async library
ecosystem - I'll explain more about why that matters later.
A few months ago I wrote about what it means to stay gold — to hold on to the best parts of ourselves, our communities, and the American Dream itself. But staying gold isn’t passive. It takes work. It takes action. It takes hard conversations that ask
If you haven’t been able to keep up with my blistering pace of one blog post per year, I don’t blame you. There’s a lot going on right now. It’s a busy time. But let’s pause and take a moment
With early computers, you didn’t boot up to a fancy schmancy desktop, or a screen full of apps you could easily poke and prod with your finger. No, those computers booted up to the command
Hard to believe that I’ve had the same PC case since 2011, and my last serious upgrade was in 2015. I guess that’s yet another sign that the PC is over, because PC upgrades have gotten really boring. It took 5 years for me to muster
In an electric car, the (enormous) battery is a major part of the price. If electric car prices are decreasing, battery costs must be decreasing, because it’s not like the cost of fabricating rubber, aluminum, glass, and steel into car shapes can decline that much,
I’ve never thought of myself as a “car person.” The last new car I bought (and in fact, now that I think about it, the first new car I ever bought) was the quirky 1998 Ford Contour SVT. Since then, we bought a
When I wrote about App-pocalypse Now in 2014, I implied the future still belonged to the web. And it does. But it’s also true that the web has changed a lot in the last 10 years, much less the last 20 or 30.
I didn’t choose to be a programmer. Somehow, it seemed, the computers chose me. For a long time, that was fine, that was enough; that was all I needed. But along the way I never felt that being a programmer was this unambiguously great-for-everyone career field
We have just heard the very sad news of our friend Clare McCarty. She and I met through young Quakers when I was working in Friends' House in the early 1970s, and later Mary and I met her husband Norman and stayed with them in their home in Lisburn. Clare became a leading figure in the housing sector in Northern Ireland. At our age the death of friends is not uncommon, but to lose a friend so much younger than me is a shock. She was one of 2 of two women friends with the distinction of receiving an OBE for her work in the crossover sector I also worked in, linking voluntary, community and statutory sectors and I feel proud to have known her.
last month's red high risk map in the Aude - Lunel is on the far right, still orange and therefore still at risk a few days ago. The Aude area is apparently still smouldering underground
The very hot weather of the past months seems to be waning thank goodness, and we have had a couple of short storms, but in the very dry conditions here the risk of fires continues very high, and it is not just folk rumour that many such devastating fires (such as the one which destroyed an area the size of Paris a week or two ago) turn out ot have been started deliberately. It is really shocking when an already dangerous situation is aggravated by such vandalism. We read that in the UK too there are fires, in Yorkshire for example. Hre in France, water supplies are running low - the Canal du Midi may have to close to navigation because of lack of water. We need more rain - only 30mm in the past two months, most of it in the past couple of days.
Over the summer months our usual conversation groups (mixed French and English people, improving our understanding of one another's languages through reading and discussions together) shrink as people go on holiday, fmaily visits etc. So our group recently has sometimes been reduced to single figures, but those who are free still like to meet and reward our morning's work with a shared meal.
skies clearing after a noisy storm last week - most of the rain fell to the north of Lunel
From time to time - I should probably do this more often to improve my language skills - I translate articles in French media. Here's one from this week.
Translation of article in Midi Libre 13/8/25 - interview with Stéphanie Latte Abdallah, historian and anthropologist, by Arnaud Boucomont Now living in the Cevennes, previously in Jerusalem, she has a harsh view of the strategy pursued in Gaza by the Netenyahu government, which requires an active response.
Do you think total occupation of Gaza by the Israeli army is feasible?
That would be complicated, although it has long been its public aim, staying in and recolonising Gaza. We've heard that for ages; the commander-in-chief of the army has said that clearly to politicians but the message has not been heard. It would take a huge number of men in the longer term, and the army is relatively fatigued with many reservists refusing to serve there. The Israeli army is faced by an ongoing guerilla war by Hamas. Gaza is pretty well destroyed but Hamas' capacity to act is not completely exhausted.
What's your view of the attitude of the international community, France in particular, over the past two years?
The recognition of the Palestinian state is long overdue, but there is an interest in isolating the current Israeli government over its refusal to recognise a Palestinian state. If Britain joins France as it has promised then the USA will be the only state in the UN Security Council not to recognise it. In the proposals publicised so farthere are no means of enforcing the proposals. There should be sanctions, and suspension of the accord of co-operation between the EU and Israel. But that would be to act without acknowledging the current genocide, without naming it as such. Because if it were named the countries involved could be even seen as complicit in the genocide because of their inaction.
What about the growing famine in Gaza?
There will be severe consequences for children, older people and those with chronic illnesses. In the long term I call that 'futuricide', resulting in killing as many people as possible. More than 61,000 have died directly as a result, but the lack of healthcare, chronic sickness, famine, land poisoned by armaments, pollution, lack of refuse collection and of cleaning services brings the total up to around 200,000 people.
How would you sum up the policy of Netenyahu over the past two years?
He was always against a Palestinian state. There is a fragile coalition between supremacist and pro-colonisation ministers and deputies and those in favour of annexation of the West Bank and the re-colonisation of Gaza. They claim to be following the biblical principles. Netenyahu himself is not especially religious but uses this language to build up support for his project. He has stayed in power by enlisting the most extremist members of his government who guarantee his position. He hopes to keep tension up by occupying as much territory as possible. He tries to avoid political scrutiny.
How do you view the religious aspects of the conflict?
On the Israeli side we can see the co-option of a religious-sounding language through the idea of a battle with Amalek, the old testament enemy of Israel, each side trying to destroy the other. In the Bible it was seen as necessary to destroy Amalek completely. In a March 2025 study by Penn State University, 82% of Israelis were in favour of moving all Palestinians out of Gaza.
In the other camp, obviously there are the islamist groups like Hamas and jihadists who fight in Gaza using islamist language. There are also other groups which are mainly secular. Within the Palestinian population religious motives are not so much to the fore.
The typical Palestinian who finds her/himself being bombed, losing children, how can that do other than generate hate or antisemitism?
Speculating on such emotions takes us beyond the realm of rational analysis But Palestinians distinguish clearly between Israeli policy and jews. the question of antisemitism as seen from France does not arise in the same way in Israel or Palestine.
So how do you see this conflict being played out in France?
Generally we've seen a gradual change in public perception over the past two years. People were quite virulent in their views to start with, not wanting to see what was actually happening, that the Israeli government really wanted to destroy Gaza, but things are changing. Better late than never. For France, which has long supported the State of Israel, it's complicated. It is difficult to tell yourself that Israeli governments are committing genocide when that very state grew out of genocide suffered by Jewish people.
What about the strategy of Hamas?
At the time of the 7 October outrage Hamas' objective was to make sure Palestine was not forgotten in the signing of the Accords of Abraham which foresaw making peace without taking account of the Palestinian question. They also wanted to avoid the annexation of the West Bank and demonstrations in front of mosques.
They could have reacted differently!
From what they've said, some things got away from them. They do not accept that they intended to target civilians. They claimed that other groups had infiltrated theirs. But there were certainly abuses and war crimes by several groups, of course including Hamas.
All the same, the strategy involved murders and taking hostages…
Hostages certainly. They wanted to exchange them for Palestinian prisoners, using them as a kind of exchange currency to protect themselves. They ahd also decided to push the Israeli army to the Gaza border to break the siege. They see themselves as being involved in a war of resistance. I'm just saying how they see things - I'm not saying I agree with them.
Another year of the Tour de France has ended with a week of the women's race across the middle of France, emphatically won by Pauline Ferrand-Prévot. But one of the highlights was the emergence of Maëva Squiban who won two of the penultimate stages in the mountains. She will be one to watch. Sadly our ability to see the Spanish grand tour, the Vuelta, willl be very limited. We really must sort out access to tv channels.
The men's Tour finished for this year in spectacular fashion. Wout van Aert won on the Champs Elysées with the overall Tour winner Tadej Pogačar a few seconds behind. The novelty this year was the addition of three ascents of Montmartre to the Sacré Coeur to the usual flat-out sprint round and round the Champs Elysées. To my mind the change was excellent, adding excitement on the last day. Wout deserved his final accolade - he had planned the attack on the final ascent - and seeing the final circuits happening on the cobbles, in the rain, was dramatic and without mishap.
Amusingly Van Aert had earlier openly criticised the change in the final day, saying it was too dangerous. He had the last laugh (or perhaps it was a cunning double bluff), and I'm fairly certain the new routine will stay - better than the old procesion with added sprinters (sorrry Cav). I know there are those of my friends who find our interest in sport tedious,, but there we are. It also applies to cricket (which we sadly can no longer watch) - in fact at least one friend I can think of can stand neither cricket nor cycling. Sorry again! But the women's race proved quite absorbing and came up with several top French contenders, which guarantees a French tv exposure. Although women's cycling is advancing by leaps and bounds, not yet a level playing field.
slower creatures
A friend has just recalled a time in our lives when he and I lost touch. Happly, we both feel, despite often living in different places, countries even, we have restored and stayed in contact since. And there are ever more gaps in our circle as we age. But we are so glad to remember those still with us even if we can seldom meet face to face. This blog serves to keep some in contact, and despite its notorious replutation Facebook is still for us a valuable way of keeping in touch with old friends and newer ones. The warmth of memories fills a lot of gaps when we can no longer travel so much.
The non-exhaustive list of people no longer physically with us include friends and Friends we made in France. In the small Quaker community of Congénies were Dennis Tomlin and Brian Painter; others important in our lives here included Marcel and Michèle Bombart and neighbours in Lunel Michel Cazanave and Mme Picard. Quakers back in the UK were (among many others) Polly Tatum (an honorary Friend in my mind) and her husband Arlo, Arthur White, Geoffrey Bowes, Ted Milligan and Malcolm Thomas. Apart from my parents and Mary's mum, family members now no longer with us include my brother Tom, my aunt Ida (who travelled with us memorably more than once in France) and Sam's father-in-law Taeke Oosterwoud.
We have just re-established our car insurance. The car is a lifeline now mainly for local travel, but above all for two things - for Mary to enjoy her cello outings, and for both of us to go to twice-weekly language groups which meet in various people's homes (including ours). The summer has put a pause to all that, and I can well understand that she does not want to practise until the hot weather has passed. Anyway, the car insurance would have lapsed next January for silly bureaucratic reasons, and we have to pay more (naturally!) for the replacement, but it is worth it.
Like another friend who has been sifting and disposing of huge piles of old papers, indeed like everyone until a few years ago, we have a life that used to be defined by files of papers but is now rapidly being encrypted in bits and bytes on electronic devices. We have just re-sorted the paper files that still line our office, and finally tracked down various folders we thought lost. And of course, 85% of the paper is no longer useful; the other 15% is probably useful but we may never get round to sorting it out. So now we are continuing the endless process of chucking out old files into recycling - once the office is more or less up to date I have started to excavate the roof where layers of dust need to be tackled too. But it is frightening to find how soon things that I labelled clearly as current are just more unwanted archives. As for the electronic things, the identifiers that work are fine, but once a chanin is broken oneis reduced to scurring between devices to confirm that I am me and getting in a fog of confusion when a password no longer works.
Outside the August sunshine is just beautiful and the evening skies often breathtaking. There have to be ways of setting aside the humdrum, confusing processes of admin, all the more when the old expedient of going for a walk (which Mary still enjoys) is slower and more laborious.
Reading still occupies a lot of our time. Mary is a regular reader of books in French, often borrowed from the local library which has been one of several useful developments in our neighbourhood. They sometimes have interesting short afternoon lectures. I read a lot though mostly in English. We are both re-reading series of novels we've enjoyed and enjoy still - Mary is nearly up-to-date with the Bertie books by Alexander McCall Smith, and I am well into the Montalbano detective books by Andrea Camilleri, beautifully translated by Stephen Sartarelli. We shall revisit the tv series over the winter I expect. It is good to read paper books at least some of the time, even if some are far too heavy and cumbersome to take to bed and the Kindle is a welcome and more flexible alternative.
The hot weather is back this month. There have been several severe fires in the countryside east and west of us, and the sound of the Canadair planes passing over us has been more frequent in July - they scoop water up from the étangs near the coast then drop it on the fires in the garrigue north of us. Not too near where we live, but very worrying all the same.
This blog should have mentioned food more often than it has. As much as wine, we enjoy our food and relish the local produce, particularly fresh fruit and veg, together with herbs and spices.
The salt pans at Aigues Mortes - pink colour due to algae in the water
But salt is both local and important. Interestingly the articles about French salt on the internet are almost all about the Guérande and other places in the north and west of France. But here it is the salt production of the Camargue, and in particular of the salines of Aigues Mortes, which is most prominent. The names Aigues Vives and Aigues Mortes are both local place names - 'alive' and 'dead' water, fresh and salt water in other words. And Aigues Mortes is a local centre for the production of salt. The fleur de sel which we use at the table is the relatively small quantity of flaky salt which is left on the surface when the water eveporates. Of course, salt is essentially sodium chloride, but the fleur is a little diffferent because the evaporation leaves higher quantitites of minerals like magnesium - it is prized by chefs and a lot more expensive than the table salt we use in cooking and so on.
Now into August, and we are looking forward to visitors in a few weeks' time when I guess the heatwaves may have subsided. Lorry fires on the motorway are a regular part of the news.
To all our friends and relations, enjoy the rest of the summer.
The Tour continued after the first rest day, and some minor surprises like Pgačar falling off without much prompting in a fairly flat part of the race near Toulouse, some rather caustic comments about other competitors waiting for him (no skin off their noses I think although some off his legs) and several riders sharing the glory, including a nice Irishman Ben Healy who stayed in the yellow jersey for 2 days. I'm sorry when being sporting becomes a dirty concept, like today's politics really.
At the end of Thursday's first Pyrenees stage normal service had, in a sense, been resumed - Pogačar back in yellow after a typical and jaw-dropping ride up the final steep climb. OK, he may be using unfair magic, but if so Vingegaard and those behind have somehow missed out on the trick. Actually I am (we are) excited and awed by the compact power he shows, As I write the next rest day is approaching, and they are heading for Carcassonne. The race passes through Revel, an area we know well because our friend Barry, of whom I've written before, lives near there. Next week to the east and other places we know well from our earlier twinning excursions.
There is a lot of yellow around during the Tour - my wine mag got into the act
The local paper meanshile is fairly typical of local French opinion, bemoaning lack of French winners of late - "Les Bleus plutôt pâles" - French sports teams commonly known as les bleus and pale blue being, well, pale.
When the Tour reaches Paris, this year instead of just circling the Champs Elysées the race will add in two climbs towards Montmartre and the Sacré Coeur. Wout Van Aert (who seems to be the official complainer in the peleton - he has just also objected to retaining sprinters who are too slow up hills) thinks it is dangerous. So are a lot of things that happen in bike racing. Anyway, sports rules are by definition arbitrary.
Memories of many no longer with us - our parents and my brother Tom, Ruth and Heinz Liebrecht, Malcolm Thomas. Good people to remember and there are those of you who are still alive, happily.
Others who were at the wedding are sadly no longer with us - Ted Milligan, Polly & Arlo Tatum, and others. We miss them all but are so glad of the memories they leave. More photos in a future blog.
Meanwhile, back in the tedious world of admin, we have to keep proving we are still alive and entitled to pensions. There are at least three different systems demanded by different pension providers, all of them complicated by the fact that English people do not recognise French, nor the French English. It can all be got round, but it always seems an anxious moment for us.
The hot dry weather and mistral (strong northerly wind - sometimes it it is north-westerly, coming over the Black mountains and called the tramontane) all combine to make the countryside like tinder, and this week we have had fires to the west of us north of Narbonne, along the A9 motorway, and to the east in the hills above Marseille. The immediate causes are often unclear, but can arise from human idiocy. One person was reported to have been towing a lighted barbecue on a trailer! With the Fête National coming up, fireworks are planned everywhere despite the risks. Climate change denial?
Our enjoyment of the Tour is undiminnished - Pogačar back in the lead and some fiarly flat stages this weekend. The local paper had a good article on what some people call mechanical doping, and I have summarised this iin English in case it interests anyone. "Looking for motors. In a former life Nick Raudenski hunted terrorists. Today he hunts motors in the bicycles of the Tour de France. The American is now in charge of the fight against technological fraud at the UCI (Union Cycliste Internationale). "When I arrived the first thing I tried to do was to put myself in the mind of a cheat. How could I use a motor without being caught by the inspection patrols? I worked in antiterrorism. An idiot tried to blow up an aeroplane with a bomb in his shoe and now everyone has to take off their shoes at the airport. The same thing in cycling"
Although technological fraud is often cited, only one case (in 2016) has been proved in the world of professional cycling, the 19-year-old Belgian Femke van den Driesse used a hidden motor in the world cyclo-cross trials. Since then millions of checks have been carried out without finding anything. "Why has nothing been found? This really bugs me. My job is get to the bottom of it." In the 2024 Tour 192 bikes were x-rayed, always including those of the stage winner each day and the yellow jersey holder, 17% more than in 2023. "This year there will be even more" says the UCI, which is also running a programme of financial and other incentives to encourage those who provide useful intelligence.
In June in Combloux at the Criterium du Dauphiné, Raudenski demonstrated the checks he carries out at the finish line where he intercepts riders, and on to the tent just behind the podium where bikes are taken apart and examined - "at the beginning of each stage the commissaires check bikes with the help of magnetic scanners. They can alert us by phone if they notice anything suspicious. Nick and his team have portable x-ray machines round their necks, checking machines from top to bottom. "These meters are so good they can see the serial numbers of cables, eveything going on inside a bicycle. ...we know exactly what we' re looking for."
Raudenski and his team keep up with the latest technology, comparing it with what happens in other sports like Formula 1, for example smaller and smaller batteries like those used to power drones - there has been enormous progress in these technologies in recent years. Nick is very confident in the effectiveness of the tests and checks despite the doubt cast on the UCI's capacity from time to time. "I really want people to believe, when they see an amazing climb or an explosive attack that they are seeing something genunie, not saying 'oh, they're using a motor'. As for the suspicion that the UCI covers things up so as not to damage the image of the sport, he is categorical "that's out of the question. whatever may have happened in the past, that is not my style. If we find something, we'll make sure it is heard loud and clear."
The race is not just about winners, but those who make exceptional efforts. Yesterday there were unusually two sharing the combativity prize: "The race jury came to a rare and exceptional decision. On stage eight of the Tour de France, there would be not one, but two winners of the combativity award: TotalEnergies pair Mattéo Vercher and Mathieu Burgaudeau. The French duo broke away from the peloton with 80km to go into Laval. It was a day billed for the sprinters, and while everyone else resigned themselves to that fact, Vercher and Burgaudeau dared to believe a different result was possible. Team-mates in unison, their white jerseys transparent with sweat, they took off away from the bunch, and ploughed in tandem through the countryside of western France for an hour and a half.
The effort, in the end, was fruitless; both were swallowed by the peloton, and Lidl-Trek’s Jonathan Milan won the bunch sprint. It was, however, a historic occasion – only the fourth time in the Tour's history that the combativity award was shared.
The canicule (heatwave) continues although the early mornings and late evenings are pleasantly less hot. We have moved our sleeping quarters downstairs. Interestingly our hugely improved roof insulation has meant that the nights upstairs are much warmer because the heat from the roof slowly seeps out then.
This month will be taken up for us watching the cycling. Cyclists of course have to plough on through the hottest weather, and it has been settled over a lot of France these past few days.
These 2 are well in evidence even at this early stage of the race
The first edition of the Tour de France was in 1903. Since then much has happened - our local paper has published a nice leaflet to mark the links between the race and our region, involved in a third of all the stages this year. Names and events to conjour with - Laurent Jalabert, a successful competitor now a constant presence in the tv commentary team, competitors like the Colombian Nairo Quintana, key places like the rose city of Toulouse which is the jumping-off point for the Pyrenees and our local city of Montpellier which will host a rest day this year,
Cheating is back in the newspapers, though without much hard news I can see, just the suspicions that often go with a gloomy feeling in France that French riders are not doing too well. Apart from the hard cases like Armstrong it all comes down to the gut feeling that being that good is improbable. Apart from using illegal substances and 'doping' machines (essentially hidden motors), the permitted changes in machinery and nutrition are enough to make huge changes in performances, and watching the ssecond stage today got me thinking, not just about changes in equipment and nutrition but about the huge infrastructure of support people, cars following every team with spare bikes and young blokes rushing to replace faulty bikes. At any given point it must have been difficult to decide shat sas legal, and who had an unfair advantage.
Bikes have changed from steel and aluminium to carbon fibre, with disc brakes, electronic gear changes and many more derailleur gears, controls all electronic and sometimes using bluetooth, tyres filled with self-sealing liquid and no inner tube. Over the years there have been frequent rumours about mechanical doping, with little hard evidence of cheating, but the mechanical advantages of new equipment have made a huge difference to the lightness and potential speed of the bikes. Nutrition has also changed, both the science and the materials - careful calculation of energy needs, fluids and gels easily carried and absorbed, calculated not just for the trrain but adapted to the needs of individual riders, with timing of a what to eat and when.
Away from cycling, Language is changing and not, for me, for the better. The words batter (in cricket - formerly a cooking ingredient for pancakes and yorkshire pudding) and train station (which we always used to call a railway station) are now accepted terms. Not sure why batsman was no longer acceptable for a male cricketer, although the female of the species did and doesneed a separate term. But things move on, and I do accept that since long before Shakespeare the English language was and is living.
It has been over 40° in the afternoon these last few days. A British friend who has lived in the tropics sent some useful tips - "In the middle of the night...open up all windows and even doors if it is safe security wise to do so to get the coolest air of the day circulating throughout your property. That should reduce internal heat to whatever the lowest overnight temperature was. Then when things start to rise... close all windows and doors and draw all curtains. And keep them that way if you can throughout the day. Inside should then stay much cooler than outside. The mistake folks make here in UK is that the hotter it gets the more they open windows during the day 'to get a breeze'. Well that breeze is as hot as outside temperature so it quickly brings inside up to outside." Languedoc temps are less trying before mid-morning, and here we don't have curtains, but the principles stand. I would add, from my O level physics, that keeping cool can be aided bynot drying oneself too thoroughly after a shower - 'evaporation causes cooling'. The fans we bought last week also help.
There is now a red heat warning across part of France. We shall not be going to our French groups this Tuesday - some people still want to meet, but driving to places would be a problem, and driving back more so for us and others who are approaching their 80s. Having airconn in a house is one thing, but going back to a roasting car quite another.
our language groups have shrunk a lot in the summer heat, but Danielle stilll helps those who remain!
One sad background to our afternoons is the sound of Canadair planes flying over on the way to fires to dump bellyfuls of water. It hppens every dry summer, but I'm guessing this year will be the worst yet. Mary read of one fire started someone towingn a lighted barbecue which shed lethal sparks along the roadside.
The mayor of Lunel, Pierre Soujol, has died. Very sad news - he seems to have done a lot of good things for the town.
Mary has just set off down the garden to feed the 2 larger tortoises. Their appetite for lettuce is undiminished.
I am collecting examples of autocorrect misfires and silly mistypes:
A topical word: I tried autocratic, the iPad threw up autocorrect. Very symbolic!
a mistype - is a canincule a hot dog? (canicule with only one n is the French for heatwave)
our son and daughter-in-law have been in Brittany but are unlikely to have encountered such onion-sellers.
I've just read bad news about champagne production: "The conditions endured by grape pickers in the Champagne region of France have been put under the spotlight by a human-trafficking trial that began in Reims last week. Svetlana Goumina, the Kyrgyz owner of a recruitment agency, is accused of luring 57 West African migrants, most reportedly undocumented, to the region from Paris, on the promise of well-paid work." The latest in a catalogue of mistreatement of seasonal agricultural workers; as often, I refer back to fictional parallels such as the excellent book A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian, by Marina Lewycka (strawberry pickers are the victims in this case).
A joke which I hope does not offend anyone: "A Texas farmer went on vacation to Australia. He met up with an Australian farmer who proudly showed off his wheat field. "That's nothing" said the Texan. "Back home, we have wheat fields that are twice as large as this." Next the Australian pointed out his cattle. "They're nothing," said the Texan. "Back home, we have longhorns that are twice as big as your cows." Just then, half a dozen kangaroos bounded across the road. "What are those?" asked the Texan. The Australian replied, "Don't you have grasshoppers in Texas?"
Our newly surfaced road - not sadly our own cul-de sac de la Bréchette, which is long-neglected
...and finally the annual delight of our artichoke coming into flower
Following my previous short post on cycling, I've been thinking about my own long association with bikes. I learnt to ride before the age of 10 on the large lawn of a friend in Chesham. Soon after I had my first crash, setting out confidently down the steep hill from our gate and failing to judge the turn into the road just opposite. Collision with curb, probably a grazed knee but it did not stop me for long. Soon after I was going for rides with my dad, one of the few things we did together; we both had sit-up-and-beg bikes with rod brakes.
In my teens both at home and at boarding school I had a jazzy yellow 'racing' bike with 5-speed dérailleur (we pronounced it di-raill-ear or something - I only more recently learnt the French signification). My main memory of those days is of the several journeys I made to and from boarding school to home, from Saffron Walden (via Royston, Baldock and a stop for refreshment around Hitchin), around 60 miles (83 km in new money). For several years in my teens I went for Sunday afternoon bike rides around the Essex coutnryside - Thaxted, Audley End and other local places. But those rides between home and school were the longest I tried - it amazes me now that I could do this. But I enjoyed my cycling days until only a few years ago when I fell off rather more than I liked, and sold my nice 10 speed touring bike to a local contact in Lunel. I do still miss it, and am tempted to buy a 3-wheeler with some motor assistance - we'll see once complex analysis of knee arthritis has ground on a bit. I had an x-ray in a hi-tech scanner tunnel, complete with an array of whirrs and growls, in a virtually deserted outpatients clinic yesterday - a far cry from the old simple x-rays I had for my first knee replacement about 10 years ago.
The Criterium du Dauphiné which we've just watched on French tv is soon to be rechristened the Tour Auvergne-Rhône-Alpes which, a friend points out, does not trip off the tongue but does more accurately describe the routes from central France south-east towards and up into the high Alps. It is, in any case, a major event in the run-up to the Tour de France now only a fortnight or so away and, like the Tour, reliably shown on French tv. There are three or four good reasons to watch these daily broadcasts - it helps to improve our French by listening to the high-speed rattling of commentators; it gives the best view of the main Tour contenders; and the views and scenery are magnificent. As with other French tv, the use of aerial photography is something that you can't get at ground level, just as the following of a whole race using other vehicles gives a completely different perspective than you could get standing by the roadside. But shoals of folllwing cars bring their own hazards on narrow roads.
The French love of cycling racingis largely if not exclusively linked to the participation of French riders who very rarely win whole races (the Criterium is over 8 days, the Tour covers 3 weeks), but who quite frequently win stages in the classics. This summer sees the retirement of one icon of French cycling, Romain Bardet as another young hopeful, Paul Seixas edges into the top ten. Bardet had a guard of honour of upended bikes on his final appearance in the Dauphiné. We are always pleased and amused to see and hear Thomas Voeckler, a previous French legend, ex-yellow jersey in the Tour, now commentating from the back of an accompanying motorbike.
The dubious example of Lance Armstrong, bang to rights for taking drugs after many years dominating the Tour, is in everyone's minds. (He is now being rehabilitated, in a way, by people who cite his help for others recovering from drug misuse. I'm not sure about that). Seeing Pogačar winning often raises questions in some minds despite all the efforts made these days to test for doping. Interestingly there is relatively little suspicion expressed in the French press about him - I prefer to go by the usual fair view 'innocent till proved guilty'. But there is also the question of doping bikes - that is, hidden motor assistance in racing bikes. In our everyday lives we have friends who use electrically assisted pedal bikes, but the motors to be any use have to be more bulky than would work or be invisible on a pared down racing bike. In any case, among competitors to win at the highest level, surely everyone must be doing it if anyone is.
One thing that always strikes me is the lack of protection cyclists have from injury - they are skinny beings, and can use virtually no padding, only head protection, yet you often see them fall, get up with horrible looking scrapes and get back on to try and lose as little time as possble.
More interesting is the question of how competition pans out in the top ehelons of the international cycling world. When Pogačar and Vingegaard are in a stage race, few others stand much chance; when they are not involved Roglič (really from the previous generation of Slovenian cyclists, and having taken up cycling after a skiing accident) comes to the fore, and in less prestigious races other cyclists emerge from the péloton to win - and so on all the way down the pecking order.
Anyway, now we look forward to the Tour soon. It is coming by Montpellier but not, I think, very near us unlike the two years soon after we arrived when it passed by the end of our road. They will be going up Montmartre on the last day in Paris, a thing some riders think is risky but will certainly add variety to the sprint round the circuit of the Champs Elysées
A short post this week. The cycling season is with us (for us two, strictly as tele-spectators) - there have already been major internationsl races, but the Criterium du Dauphiné is the first of the year in France where the major contenders for the Tour de France all show up. This week the weather is getting warmer, and it's dry, so the scenery is a real pleasure in the early summer sunshine. Geographically the Dauphiné is the mountainous region around our old twin area, the Diois, but the race spreads its route a long way to the north. By the fourth day as I write it has more or less reached Valence passing through the rolling countryside of central France. Mid-week we'll have the time trial, and then three tough mountain stages to finish thte week
The first days have gone more or less as expected - Pogačar, Vingegaard and assorted Dutch and Belgian riders up the leader board, the right mix of French riders near the top to keep the local interest up, though never quite strong enough to get right up there. Over the first three days the lead changed, but we'll see by the end of the week when the mountains take their toll. Meanwhile the scenery is a joy to watch as always in televised cycle races. It is a shame the riders do not see it, especially (they say) because racing has speeded up so there is no time to admire views. The normal speed on the flat is faster than a town speed limit for motors.
Thhis past week has seen the start of resurfacing work on the D24 road past our little cul-de-sac. Slow work made even more sluggish by the bank hoidays that litter the month of May. But for all the anxiety it provokes for me, the reality is that scarcely anything seems to be happening. Pictures of the preparations and improvided parking follow.
Having started talking about cyclists like Pogačar I needed a č, but the special ALT+ 0269 code I tried did not work (it is simple on the iPad) so I had to cut and paste it from a website! The petty trials of modern life!
The wonderful flowers of the ornamental grenadier (pomegranate) whose hedge blooms year on year
Old news for most of you, when we moved to France we were citizens of the EU Now, thanks to what most people now see was a political mis-step, the UK is well and truly Brexited The rather mealy-mouthed stance taken by the so-called Labour government led by Keir Starmer is to try and creep back in without too many people noticing. Politics in like that, compromising in plain sight, watering down principles on the way. So capping and removing welfare benefits is dressed up as financial prudence and the poorest people struggle more while better-off people like us are cushioned at every turn.
I have recently sent in our French tax return for 2024 (calendar years here which have to be jiggled into line with British April to March financial years, since we receive our pensions from the UK. I am always nervous about this, but generally there's no need provided the formulae on my spreadsheet are entered correctly, but one by-product of the cross-checking I always do to be sure is that year by year the gap between Mary's income and mine shrinks - the bulk of my pension comes from a fixed-sum pot, while Mary and I both have British OAPs which are triple-locked so go up by more than the rate of inflation. It would take a long while for her income to approach mine, but it is getting nearer every year.
This year we have been more than usually anxious about money, because we rely on our Brtish bank accounts for everyday purchases, and every now and then there is a glitch when someone elsewhere in the world decides to steal money from us. Luckily our banks are on the lookout for this and twice (once on a French account, another on a UK one) we have had to cancel cards and wait for new ones to come. Last time the swindlers actually got their hands on a lot of money, but the French bank refunded it quickly. This week we received a letter asking us to phone the bank, and then had to go through the meticulous checks to get through to a real person. This one was in India or similar, and of course you always have to remain calm despite the feeling of advancing panic. But all's well that ends well. We keep reminding ourselves that the people who work in the call centres have tough jobs, are not to blame for the processes they have to operate and have little room for discretion.
I am writing having just been out successfully to buy fans which we hope will moderate the heat to come. For the last several years we have been too late, none left in shops, but this year we found what we wanted. Many others we know have air conditioned houses, but we have decided not to go down that road - like swimming pools which many friends have, we realise that they are expensive and troublesome luxuries - now, with my legs being as they are, even geting out of a pool would be tricky and I have taken to having shower rather than even an occasional bath.
a nearly deserted town centre after a visit to the local museum
Even more than the excesses of Trump, my mind has been occupied with the excesses of the Israeli government. More than ever, I find it impossible to relate its obscene actions in any way to the presence or absence of antisemitism, and I know many Jewish friends feel the same. I think the world is anaesthetising itself to destroying human life, easier and easier as the technology makes the distance between atacker and attacked ever greater, and the chances of innocent loss of life likewise.
As we approached a beautiful sunny weekend I was stranded at home while M is equally left in the lurch, waiting for the breakdown after our car locked her out. We have had a succession of mishaps with the car (two punctures, then this) which makes us all too aware how dependent we are on the car. It is only a question of waiting, but as we both suffer from age and infirmity I am seriously thinking of a second vehicle. This is very unecological but we could afford it. In the end it turned out some tiny ball-bearings had got trapped in the ignition keyhole.
On top of that, the main road to our house is to be closed for resurfacing for the next fortnight. There are ways round it, and the whole hting has been well signalled, but with our luck the visitors we expect next week may have problems.
Two bits of cheer this weekend - Simon Yates did an amazing ride uphill on a gravel track to overtake the then leader of the Giro d'Italia and effectively winning the multi-stage race. And today thanks to the BBC still available here we can hear one of our favourite pianists Angela Hewitt interviewed.
poppy time here - usually en masse in fields, but this one outside our front gate!
A headline in the local paper (mid-May) says there is a shrinking number of readers of books in France - according to the survey organisation Ipsos 63% of French people read fewer than 5 books a year. In this house we do our best to keep the numbers up, but although Mary is a loyal visitor to our local library my reading is almost all on electronic devices and I'm not sure how that is included in the statistics. Whatever, we in this house read a lot - a silent house more often means we are reading than absent. We are, as they say, big readers, I mainly in English, Mary now mainly in French. I do admire this, but I would be too slow if I tried, always stoppping to look up words. But we read in French in a group twice a week, with native French support, and are currently working through a history of Algeria and a translation of Alan Bennett's The lady in the van, very different and both very enjoyable though the history of the French in Algeria is much less cheerful.
My diary, and from time to time this blog, have frequently focused on my leg pain - three overlapping phenomena, arthritis, sciatica and (oh dear) gout as well as general aches and pains that the French lump together as courbatures. Gout is, of course, a result of drinking alcohol. Well, it is avoidable but I ask myself how being a wine-lover is compatible with avoiding it. So, moderation in all things, but it shows on my frequent blood tests so my doctor is 'aware' - he often mentions the uric acid but seldom directly talks about drinking less. However, I have been presecribed a kind of trolley I can walk with and rest on if necessary. Unfortunately so far it is not much good for me - I prefer to continue with my stick.
This had long since ceased to surprise me, since French culture and wine are intimately bound up with wine my present doctor refers to the subject obliquely via the annual reports from the blood lab - our previous doctor, now retired, did not mention it at all, adhering probably to an old French culture in which drinking wine was more commonplace. In the UK medics often talk about drinking too much. Someone gave me a book (in French so I am only slowly reading it) about alcohol at the time of the French Revolution, before which it was apparently only consumed by people of a certain (upper) class. So not at all commonplace until the 19th century, and now 200 years later, the press is full of reports of declining wine consumption.
My leg pain has intensified, and tests and treatments are on the horizon. I have become a very slow walker although I can still manage, and luckily I can still drive so things will be easier once I can pick my way through the French bureaucracy to get preferential parking. Most of the treatment I use at present is in the shape of pills relieveing pain, but a treatment I use daily now which is non-chemical is TENS - the French use the English phrase, abbreviated from Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation
We have just revisited a restaurant, La Maison Soubeiran in Lunel, which is becoming one of our favourite places to eat - a small family business, friendly with beautiful food. The walls are decorated with photos of Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsbourg.
Although this post is mostly about current things, I'll add one other thing. Since we visited Armenia a few year ago we have been interested in the country, so I picked this up from the European Correspondent newsletter this month and thought it worth repeating:
How Armenia is becoming the region's only democracy – sort of(by Nerses Hovsepyan) In 2018, Armenians pulled off something rare: a peaceful overthrow of a corrupt government. What started as street protests led by ordinary citizens grew into a movement that toppled Serzh Sargsyan's long-standing regime. Since then, the country has taken small but important steps toward democracy. Elections aren't guaranteed to favour the ruling party, opposition leaders aren't silenced, and media outlets have more freedom than ever before. This might not seem remarkable to the average European, but in a region where autocratic rule has been the norm for decades, Armenia's gradual shift is a noteworthy exception.
In Azerbaijan, elections are largely a formality, and Iran, well, is Iran. In Türkiye, the government regularly throws opposition politicians into prison, along with journalists and protesters. Meanwhile, Georgia, once the democratic leader of the region, has been sliding toward authoritarianism (which you already know if you've been reading us). To illustrate this: Georgia's press freedom ranking fell from 60th to 103rd since 2013, while Armenia's improved from 102nd to 50th in the same period. Before 2018, Armenia appeared locked into an authoritarian trajectory similar to its neighbours, with Russia influencing every aspect of its economy and politics: Moscow controlled 95% of its foreign trade, all major infrastructure, and even its border security.
The Velvet Revolution didn't just topple a corrupt government; it began unravelling this decades-old dependence. Today, while still formally allied with Russia through the CSTO, Armenia has frozen its participation in the bloc and is actively but carefully pursuing an EU membership application – a geopolitical reorientation unimaginable before 2018. The largely peaceful 2018 Revolution began because Armenians were fed up with a corrupt regime that had hijacked Armenia's democratic promise while tightening Moscow's grip on the country. It was led by Nikol Pashinyan, who has been prime minister ever since, and was dubbed 'velvet' in reference to the nonviolent 1989 Czechoslovak Velvet Revolution.
Seven years after the revolution's euphoric promise, Armenia's democracy remains a work in progress. Yes, Armenia has seen peaceful power transfers, and opposition parties can now operate more freely. But the country still faces serious challenges. The judicial system is slow to reform and remains deeply mistrusted. Media outlets, while less restricted, are still influenced by political and business interests. LGBT+ rights remain a thorny issue – queer events are frequently canceled under threats, and hate crimes often go unpunished. For Armenia's fragile democracy to survive and grow, it needs sustained support – financial, diplomatic, and, given its security challenges, military – especially from the European Union. With authoritarianism tightening its grip across the region, from Azerbaijan's iron-fisted rule to Georgia's democratic backsliding, the threat of Armenia slipping backwards is all too real.
Our one trip to Armenia and Georgia was several years ago now and a plan to revisit with friends was stymied by Covid. Now Mary and I have more or less decided not to fly again (our friends still travel a lot: they like others we know here are originally from other parts of the world and so have diverse reasons for wanting, needing to fly).
All 3 tortoises are thriving after hibernation for the 2 older ones - the little one still lives indoors!
Not everyone knows exactlyu where we live in France, so here is a recap. Next year we'll have been in Lunel for 20 years. We have few regrets other than distance from family. We are midway between 2 historic cities, Montpellier and Nîmes, on a rail link which can tansfer us rapidly onto the TGV line to Paris, and with 2 local airports less than 30 minutes away though we rarely fly now. We are close to the A9 autoroute (the busiest motorway in France apparently) which takes you quickly t o Spain, Toulouse and Bordeaux as well as to the A7 north-south route up the Rhône valley. Lunel is less than 10 km from the Med,, and not much further from those hills to the north, the inland Cevennes; but we often escape the heavier rain inland - the risk here is often too little rain rather than too much.
Another crop of lemons on the way
I started this post at the end of April in bright sunshine after a quick overnight shower - nevertheless I was able to mow the lawn first thing in the morning, and (starting early) I have also been for my annual round of blood tests. Like a lot of French healthcare these are precautionary - an underactive thyroid is the only known concern, but there are 15 tests on the prescription. We find the blood testing service very efficient, and for those like me who wake early the lab opens at 6.30! And by the end of the afternoon the results were with me by email - all well except the marginally high uric acid which I know is the result of liking alcoholic drinks, and causes twinges of gout. The price of being a wine enthusiast!
tortoises sunning themselves this spring
Some lovely white flowers from the garden this Mayday, and of course the white flower sold everywhere in France today is the lily of the valley. It has been a flower symbolising good luck in France since Charles IX in the 16th century, and has been officially recognised for the Fête du Travail since 1936. It is pretty but deadly poisonous, and we have none in our garden. The production of the flowers is a multi-million euro market apparently centrered around Bordeaux.
The yellow iris is called baroque prelude, one of Mary's favourites
I am writing this over the Easter weekend and our first afternoon watching cycling. A thrilling circuit race in Holland saw the Dane Skjelmose beat Pogacar in a photo finish. We look forward to more in the build-up to the Tour - French tv does these events proud.
We have just returned from our 4,000 km round trip to Brittany to see Sam, Sas and Ben. The drive back was OK and we can manage 4-500 km a day without too much trouble, but it can be tiring, and we spent a couple of days doing not much since our return. This blog will be mostly about my/our reading, which occupies a lot of our time, as well as about listening to music.
For many years I have kept lines of communication open through various email links and this blog as well as on Facebook. I think every one of my contacts is someone I know - if not a close friend, someone I have good reason to be in touch with, and almost never respond to 'friend requests' out of the bllue. I have a couple of 'not Facebook' lists and some individual correspondents I write to separately. I think it is important to match people's wishes however varied. But every now and again a new link to an old friend on Facebook pops up. It is the easiest latform to combine pictures with text, and as an avid photographer I am always glad to chat in pictures as well as in words. The one thing I find difficult is the intrusion of unexpected sounds, usually when a video or someone's slide show blares out music. We listed to a lot of music on the radio, but I do think people should be able to choose when and if there is sound. Mini-rant over.
Despite our efforts to improve our French and become more integrated here, there are some things British we value, especially listening to BBC Radio 3. So we have been disturbed, angry even, about plans to restrict overseas access to Radio 3 which are postponed but not abandoned (tv has long been difficult but we are adapting to the things we enjoy on French tv and don't miss much of the UK output - maybe cricket!). Re Radio 3, he stupid phrase 'rights issues' and the claim that it is to 'improve the service for listeners' are incomprehensible. We have always paid, and as it happens still pay, all our taxes in the UK even though we are registerd to pay taxes in France; and if necessary I would pay a charge to access BBC, but no such offer has been mentioned. We are of course not the only people affected and there have been similiar comments from others in the expat press. Heaven knows whose rights are involved - certainly not ours. I would use the phrase 'mean-minded' if I thought there was any actual mind involved, not just faceless bureaucrats saying 'nothing we can do guv'. Rant over - we are of course investigating ways round (VPN etc. etc..) , and I supppose it is at least a way of keeping the brain active.
In the last blog I mentioned Eleanor of Aquitaine whose biography Mary is now well into. A lot of her historical presence is due to her amazing longevity for the period, since the first part of her life was mainly child, wife and prisoner. Alison Weir, the author of the biography, says "She was christened Aliénore, a pun on the Latin alia-Aénor, ‘the other Eleanor’, to differentiate her from her mother" - said mother being Aénor of Aquitaine. The biography is well-written and although the first half is largely about the blokes Eleanor was married to - the king of France, then Henry II of England, whose kingdom started out including Aquitaine, so the wester part of current France, the biography becomes more and more about her as her husbands and sons fell by the wayside. The sons including another Henry (crowned by his father as ' the Young King'), who died before his dad, then Richard who was not quite as rosy a personality as the myths and films suggest, and then John who seems to have been not quite so bad as his reputation suggests. But they were all medieval monarchs, and as we are reminded daily even being elected (let alone real demagogues) does not prevent brutal behaviour.
While imprisoned in France, waiting for an extortionate ransom, Richard "had taken to composing poems and songs to express his feelings, the most famous of which is ‘J’a nuns hons pris’ – ‘I have many friends but their gifts are few . . .’ In it, he refers bitterly to Philip, ‘my overlord, who keeps my land in torment’ in contravention of his feudal oath. He also complains that everyone has forsaken him. This song, one of only two of Richard’s compositions to survive, was written in Provençal with a musical score, and was dedicated to his half-sister, Marie, Countess of Champagne." There is also a Nottinghamshire connection - Alsion Weir continues "On 2 April, Richard and Eleanor rode to the royal hunting lodge at Clipstone (now a ruin known as King John’s Palace) in Sherwood Forest. The King had never visited Sherwood before, and it ‘pleased him greatly’. This is the context in which many later legends of Robin Hood were set, but the evidence for Robin Hood’s identity is sparse and confusing: if he existed, he probably lived in the thirteenth or early fourteenth century. It was not until 1521, in the Scottish writer John Major’s book, The History of Greater Britain, that the Robin Hood legends were set in the reign of Richard I". I will always remember Kevin Costner's Robin leaping from his boat by the White cliffs straight into Sherwood Forest - time travel indeed in an age when journeys took ages.
But my reading is eclectic - one book I have since read is Sophy Roberts' The lost pianos of Siberia. Apart from making you feel very cold just imagining the setting and the lives of many of those she travelled to meet in trying to track down the instruments, the subject is not only explored for its own sake but to illuminate the old and more recent history of the area, the USSR and the Soviet era. Some of the brutal hardship and rank cruelty she describes is difficult to take in, the harshness of the Tsars mimicked later by the Stalinist and Soviet versions of repression. The book nevertheless expresses the love and passion of the author for pianos and their music.
Siberia of course borders China, and we get glimpses of the forces ranged against the instrument and its music: "Mao Zedong’s widow, who was fond of piano music, didn’t quite manage to save the instrument from its unpalatable Western reputation. ‘During China’s Cultural Revolution,’ writes one leading historian, ‘the piano was likened to a coffin, in which notes rattled about like the bones of the bourgeoisie". But in among the incredulity of many people she met that she should go all that way in the cold looking for pianos which had long since been neglected and forgotten, there were touching encounters with both instruments and the human beings that owned and played them. An unexpected pleasure to read.
One other thing about reading. In our French conversation groups we read aloud a French text and translate bit by bit into English (our French helpers have an easier time reading and a harder one translating). Our current Tuesday text is Alan Bennett's La dame à la camionnette (The lady in the van) which we Brits know quite well from, among other things, the tv film with Maggie Smith. The French trtnaslation is very good, and everyone is amused and entertained by its wry humour. It's quite a short text, so we shall have to start searching for a new book soon.
A separate group on Tuesdays also works in French and English
As we return to the regular routines of our life in France the bright light of summertime has been enhanced by the colours of spring - more than fifty shades of green along the roadside and in the garden, and the endless pleasure of roses and irises re-emerging.
I can't finish without a brief reference to the world around us, a different kind of careless brutality which is on all our minds. Another kind of listening we often turn to is podcasts, and the clearest views we have heard recently of the situation in the US has come from Timothy Snyder whose books and podcasts I've mentioned before. The Colin McEnroe show has an hour-long interview with Snyder, one of the frew people I've heard to refer to comparisons between the Nazis and the current era with authority and balance.
This is a story of our trip to spend time with Sam, Sas and Ben in Brittany. We drove north in fairly short stages, staying in hotels for a couple of nights on the way.
I have just finished reading Allison Weir's excellent biography of Eleanor of Aquitaine, and have realised that our route up the western side of France is through the heart of her domaines - the motorway is for a time called the Aquitaine, with bridges and service stations to match. and from the start on past Bordeaux we have also followed the track of the Canal du Midi. The Canal is nourished from lakes created alongside in places like Saint Ferreol near Revel which we recently saw while visiting Barry. So place names and landmarks recall two worlds which have been part of the recent background of our lives and which are now accompanying us on our travels. We have been incredibly lucky with weather - spring has sprung with pink judas trees and bright yellow rapeseed fields lining the motorways, and it is so warm in the day that Mary had to buy summer clothes, though in Brittany the nights are chill and north-westerly wind is also cold.
The first night was in a hotel, the Rabelais near Niort (a place frequently in Eleanor's itineraries) and the second was in Landernau, from which we drove for a sight of the sea. Finistère is not highly commercial, and fairly sleepy. And a long way from the rest of France. I realised that the Pointe de Penmarch, for which a brand of sardine we often eat, is at another corner of this peninsula, but too far for lazy octogenarian holidaymakers to drive, although we were tempted by a splendid museum of sardines and tinned goods I saw advertised. The Breton language is strange to look at (on all the signs)
We are having a lazy time with Mah Jong in the evening and (for those who walk faster than I) a stroll to see the local scenery, but basically it is a lovely relaxing week with Samuel, Saskia and Ben. Nice lunch in Brest once we fought our way past huge tramway roadworks, nothing people from Montpellier would be surprised by. Discovered bijou bakery in the local village Bourg Blanc on the way back from Brest.
Later in the week we went to one of the nicest restaruant meals we have had in ages, at the small and unpretentious Peck & Co
This is a roundup before we set out on a break with family for a fortnight or so. This weekend we are looking forward to a wine tasting with our regular circle of enthusiasts, then we have a varied and busy week - culminating in a concert for Mary in the nearby Temple de Mus before we set out on our travels
My head is reeling today after the forced entry on police into Westminster Friends' Meeting house and the arrest of half a dozen women peacefully meeting there. With the scarcely credible paranoia over the Atlantic, it is still a shock to find a British govt led by an ex-director of public prosecutions engaging in this kind of gross over-reaction. Though to be honest, since people protesting by climbing on motorway gantries incure draconian prison sentences I guess nothing should surprise me. As an avid reader of history books I see parallels in past events, but more fool me for thinking that we are more humane or civilised now.
This really belongs inthe wine blog, but since I am writing here I'll mention a great outing, these days quite rare to a wine produced north of here wiht our wine tasting group yesterday. I can do no better than copy the report Luc wrote of the visit - above, with apologies for fuzzy quality. But Luc's friendship (with hhis loavley partner Jacqueline) and expertise over many years has been one of the highlights of our time in France.
We are in a bright and very breezy time, the Mistral blowing hard yesterday, a cold wind which can take you unawares. Yesterday I left a door open, and heard a crash like breaking glass, it was almost my entire toolkit falling off a set of magnetic racks. Luckily not glass, just time taken to pick the .... lot up which is good for my bending.
A welcome phone call from Ed has taken our attention, so I'll finish now and try not reflect too much on the ills of the world and the stupidity of the human beings who seem to be in charge.
Sometimes a house is so ugly, disgust boomerangs back into a form of respect.
This is a rare phenomenon, one which should be treated seriously. I’ve been looking at ugly houses professionally for almost a decade now and I can say with confidence that there are only a handful of true goose eggs that meet the mark. This house – this remarkable, revolting house – located, of all places, in Randolph County, North Carolina, is perhaps the finest goose egg a rogue and most certainly confused contractor could possibly lay.
Yeehaw, man. For the curious, the house is on the market for over 500 grand despite being badly sited and measly 2600 square feet. Most of that is devoted to the lawyer foyer which is not the choice I would personally make, but hey, to each their own.
Most of the houses on McMansion Hell these days are submissions from members of the McMansion Hell Patreon, either in our discord server or on our livestreams. This one, however was a total fluke. I came across it by accident because my brother is looking to move to the area in order to be closer to my folks. (I doubt he’d be interested in something this, uh, unique.)
Now, in all these years, I’ve never devoted an entire post to the exterior of a house. As they say, there’s a first time for everything. There is so much going on with this house, all of it in direct opposition to the concept of taste, it requires a deeper investigation than the initial exterior image usually allows. (Also the entire interior is, as one might expect, entirely dark gray, complete with that awful washed out laminate flooring.)
(here is a sneak peek inside. the rest is not really important nor interesting.)
Anyway, without further ado, let’s hit it from the top.
First off, no, I don’t know what is inside this house’s giant, hammerhead-esque forehead. It’s not supported by anything so my assumption is, well, nothing. They put this in there for the sheer aesthetic love of the game.
The vinyl siding and black trim will continue until morale improves. Also, I zoomed out here to include the forehead (fivehead?) just because the scale is INSANE – that’s like a 50-50 wall-to-fivehead ratio. Honestly, even though things in the world are pretty dire, I wouldn’t trust that cantilever with my life.
The window layout on this thing makes me wonder if the people who put it together have eyes that can see and a brain that connects to them. Now, I’m not going to invoke the Greek orders or anything, but I am going to say that every single architectural rule is being brazenly broken here. Total impunity. The window and door don’t line up at the top, which is the bare minimum of common decency. Then there’s that little guy pulling a Leeroy Jenkins up in the corner. You go dude.
The trim on these masses is starting to look AI generated but it’s probably just the HDR every realtor uses. The FaceTune of the field. Anyway, I think it’s a bad idea to put what looks like builder grade wood flooring on the outside of a house. It’s giving mold. It’s giving sunbleaching. It’s giving Etsy.
As we can see, another familiar McMansion Hell enemy has also made an appearance: the prairie mullion window. There is no reason to use this window unless it involves building a fake bungalow, but the worst possible place to use it is in this particular situation. It’s the only window with white mullions, it looks weird with the siding, and it’s not exactly “”“modern”“” or whatever this house is supposed to be.
(Often I wonder if some people believe that modernism is just “doing some stuff with squares” and the more squares there are the more modernist it is. Probably not true, but then again, I’m not the one pulling massive profit on houses that look like doo doo so jokes on me.)
Zooming out again because context still matters even in the most nonsensical situations. The funny thing about this house is that the only normal part of it is the front door and even then… what?? Also, look at that siding-less patch of brick on the right. As though to say: haha! Finally, I love how the stairs lead down into a bunch of rocks. Serves you right!
Thanks to advanced screenshotting technology, we can see that there are also prairie mullions on these other windows, it’s just that they’re a more reasonable black. Don’t worry though, the windows are still offensive. They’re two windows stuck together in order to give the impression of a single continuous one. (Remember the inside shot?) Nice try, bucko. Second, why don’t the two windows meet where that little band of siding is? Well, we all know the answer to this question. (We don’t, in fact, know the answer to this question.)
This is my favorite part of the house. It’s almost good, to me, which is why I saved it for last. I have no idea what the hell that glossy composition book siding is but I love it. I’ve never seen it before. I also like how they’re doing a weird entablature-quoin combo thing with it, but only on the right side of the house. There’s some great five-cornice action going on but, thanks to the precedents set by truly mid postmodernism, it works.
Unfortunately there are some downsides here. What’s the deal with that tiny, skinny stone? brick? veneer? Second, why is the siding just hanging off the edge like that? That whole little section where the three (four?) cladding meet is precipitous. The cheapo off-white developer special garage door with the little trad elements is a nice gesture, one that tells you life has no meaning. Why bother?
Anyway, after all that, if we put it all together again, we get this:
I know I am just a blog about ugly houses but I want to say something important here: the ruling class in this country does not want you to have affordable housing. They don’t want you to have clean, reliable public transportation. They don’t want you to have access to groceries you can afford. If something bad happens to you, they don’t care if you live or die. If you lose your home, they will hole up in their penthouses, McMansions, and mommy-bought apartments and tell you it’s your fault – but it’s not. It is theirs. Everything from budget cuts to rent hikes, is their fault, their way of ensuring that the city becomes a place made up solely of people like themselves.
Zohran Mamdani is the only high profile candidate I’ve seen in my narrow, millennial lifetime running for any position – least of all the mayor of the biggest city in the country – on a platform of decommodification in terms of access to food, housing and transportation. City-run grocery stores would ensure that food stays affordable because there is no profit motive. While some are critical of his policy of fare-free transportation (as opposed to spending the same amount of money improving services), given the amount of policing involved in watching the fareboxes, it’s something I’m coming more and more around to.
In demanding a rent freeze, Zohran is one of the only politicians able to articulate a direct plan for keeping people in their homes at a time when rent is skyrocketing with no end in sight. Zohran is one of a limited few in this miserable, cowardly country who are willing to speak out for the rights of Palestinians being murdered en masse by Israel. A vote for Zohran is a vote for the idea that better things are possible and, if you ask me, I think we live in such dire times that we’ve begun to forget this fundamental truth: things do not have to be like this. We do not have to live under the jackboot of privatization and exploitation forever. That choice, however, is up to us.
I am forever skeptical of the power of the ballot box to enact lasting change, especially in recent years. In fact, I am the most skeptical of electoralism I have ever been. However, why is it that the right can use what little sovereignty and enfranchisement is available to us to enact sweeping, if devastating changes, and yet, when the opportunity presents itself to the left, all we hear is that such things are no better than pissing in the wind? The answer to this question, of course, is that the ruling class is perfectly content with a party that hinders rather than ushers in change. Zohran may be using the sclerotic party system we’ve been doomed to inhabit, but despite these limitations his candidacy has surged immensely in the last few months, and the momentum of the people is on his side. This may be one of the last chances wherein one can attempt a truly progressive campaign like this.
Now that things are heating up, the ruling class, the backers of Andrew Cuomo, an abuser of women and a man responsible for the untold deaths of the elderly because he valued profits over their lives so early on in the pandemic, will stop at nothing to make sure that Zohran Mamdani does not win, that things stay the same. That the rent goes up, that the grocery prices continue to explode, that New York City becomes the playground of the rich and famous at the expense of everyone else. The party will try to intervene in undemocratic ways just like they did with Bernie Sanders in the 2020 primary. There will be untold lies and accusations, the press will abandon what few journalistic obligations they still abide by, and it will get ugly. There are even rumors that Cuomo will run as an independent even if he loses the primary, which, to be honest, isn’t a bad tactic – he’s just the worst guy to be using it.
I realize this post may be annoying to some (hell, I myself live in Chicago), and I’m sure there’s some rightful criticism for my not having used my blog like this before. (However, for those of you who don’t know, I usually write about all manner of politics in my column at The Nation!) That being said, if you follow me and you live in New York City, rank Zohran #1 and Brad Lander #2. DO NOT RANK SUBURBANITE BIKE LANE-PARKER ANDREW CUOMO.
Anyway, that’s all. I’ll be back with a new McMansion Hell this Friday, so stay tuned.
FYI, this post is a little more NSFW than usual with the language.
Usually I think McMansions are kind of funny. Sometimes, I even like them. If I didn’t like them at least a little bit, I don’t think I’d be running this blog for a solid eight years and counting. Some McMansions are so strange and so fascinating in their architectural languages (it’s never just one language) that they test the boundaries of what residential architecture can do on an individual and often ad hoc level. Others so cogently and often whimsically express various cultural fascinations and deeply entrenched American ideas of what prosperity looks like (read: neuroticisms), that, as a sociological text they remain unrivaled.
But some (many!) McMansions are, to put it bluntly, evil. And it is these McMansions that reveal the ugly truth beneath the ugly architecture: that the McMansion is a manifestation of power and wealth meant to communicate that power and wealth to others as explicitly as possible, and that it does so in a country besieged by brutal and inescapable income inequality. In our present political moment characterized by extreme and deliberate cruelty, fear, and baleful destruction of all that is pro-social in nature (and nature itself), I figured it was my duty to show my readers a house that embodies these sentiments, one we can all use to assuage some of our perceived powerlessness by way of mocking the shit out of it.
There are a lot of fake White Houses in the US. Most of them can be found in or around the area of McLean, Virginia, the ground zero of DC blob sickos whose job it is to mete out the ratio of lethality and economy for weapons manufacturers. This one, however, is in Indiana, outside of Evansville. It was built at the apex of theme park mindset in architecture (1997) and is on the market for $4.9 million dollars. However, don’t be fooled by this opening exterior shot. It takes literal drone footage to show how unhinged this house actually is. In reality, the White House facade is akin to the light dangling from an anglerfish, luring the unsuspecting victim in…
Completely NORMAL amount of money at play here!
There are some images historians (if there are any left) will look back upon and say, such a phenomenon truly would not be possible without an abundance of cheap oil and derivative products. Fortunately, in the immanent post-neoliberal chobani yogurt solarpunk utopia, this house will be converted into a half ruin garden (though this will take some time with all the plastic) half public spa complex. A better world is possible, but only if we imagine it.
Pro tip: there’s a way of saying “wow it’s so big” that can land as the most devastating insult in the rhetorical lexicon.
I’ll be real, the armchair thing is a new one for me, too.
(Rise and grindset voice): Inside you are two lions. Both of them are hungry for prosperity and success. Let’s get this bread, king.
Not to do gender here, but compared to the rest of the house, this is a “my wife got her way” room if there ever was one.
Fixer Upper was basically 9/11 for “architectural foam trappings” and “color.” Look what they took from you…
Honestly, what a great juxtaposition. This is what that book The Machine in the Garden was all about. (No it’s not.)
Half of this post tbh:
Well, that’s it for this extremely upbeat and positive McMansion Hell post in this extremely positive and upbeat time we are living in. Join us soon for the concluding part 2 of the Neuschwanstein Castle series, especially if you like beautiful, psychosexually crippled swan boys (real and fictional) and kitsch theory.
Neuschwanstein Concept Drawing by the stage designer (!!) Christian Jank (1869).
There exist in architecture clear precedents to the McMansion that have nothing to do with suburban real estate. This is because “McMansionry” (let’s say) has many transferable properties. Among them can be included: 1) a diabolical amount of wealth that must be communicated architecturally in the most frivolous way possible, 2) a penchant for historical LARPing primarily informed by media (e.g. the American “Tuscan kitchen”) and 3) the execution of historical styles using contemporary building materials resulting in an aesthetic affect that can be described as uncanny or cheap-looking. By these metrics, we can absolutely call Neuschwanstein Castle, built by the architect Eduard Riedel for King Ludwig II of Bavaria, a McMansion.
Constructed from 1869 through 1886 – the year of Ludwig’s alleged suicide after having been ousted and declared insane – the castle cost the coffers of the Bavarian state and Ludwig himself no fewer than 6.2 million German gold marks. (That’s an estimated 47 million euros today.) The castle’s story is rife with well-known scandal. I’m sure any passing Swan Enthusiast is already familiar with Ludwig’s financial capriciousness, his called-off marriage and repressed homosexuality, his parasocial obsession with Richard Wagner, his complete and total inability to run his country, and his alleged “madness,” as they used to call it. All of these combine to make Neuschwanstein inescapable from the man who commissioned it – and the artist who inspired it. Say what you like about Ludwig and his building projects, but he is definitely remembered because of them, which is what most monarchs want. Be careful what you wish for.
Neuschwanstein gatehouse.
How should one describe Neuschwanstein architecturally? You’d need an additional blog. Its interiors alone (the subject of the next essay) range from Neo-Baroque to Neo-Byzantine to Neo-Gothic. There are many terms that can loosely define the palace’s overall style: eclecticism, medieval revivalism, historicism, chateauesque, sclerotic monarchycore, etc. However, the the most specific would be what was called “castle Romanticism” (Burgenromantik). The Germans are nothing if not literal. Whatever word you want to use, Neuschwanstein is such a Sistine Chapel of pure sentimentality and sugary kitsch that theme park architecture – most famously, Disney’s Cinderella’s castle itself – owes many of its medieval iterations to the palace’s towering silhouette.
There is some truth to the term Burgenromantik. Neuschwanstein’s exterior is a completely fabricated 19th century storybook fantasy of the Middle Ages whose precedents lie more truthfully in art for the stage. As a castle without fortification and a palace with no space for governance, Neuschwanstein’s own program is indecisive about what it should be, which makes it a pretty good reflection of Ludwig II himself. To me, however, it is the last gasp of a monarchy whose power will be totally extinguished by that same industrial modernity responsible for the materials and techniques of Neuschwanstein’s own, ironic construction.
In order to understand Neuschwanstein, however, we must go into two subjects that are equally a great time for me: 19th century medievalism - the subject of this essay - and the opera Lohengrin by Richard Wagner, the subject of the next. (1)
Part I: Medievalisms Progressive and Reactionary
The Middle Ages were inescapable in 19th century Europe. Design, music, visual art, theater, literature, and yes, architecture were all besotted with the stuff of knights and castles, old sagas, and courtly literature. From arch-conservative nationalism to pro-labor socialism, medievalism’s popularity spanned the entire political spectrum. This is because it owes its existence to a number of developments that affected the whole of society.
In Ludwig’s time, the world was changing in profound, almost inconceivable ways. The first and second industrial revolutions with their socioeconomic upheavals and new technologies of transport, manufacturing, and mass communication, all completely unmade and remade how people lived and worked. This was as true of the average person as it was of the princes and nobles who were beginning to be undermined by something called “the petit bourgeoisie.”
Sustenance farming dwindled and wage labor eclipsed all other forms of working. Millions of people no longer able to make a living on piecemeal and agricultural work flocked to the cities and into the great Molochs of factories, mills, stockyards, and mines. Families and other kinship bonds were eroded or severed by the acceleration of capitalist production, large wars, and new means of transportation, especially the railroad. People became not only alienated from each other and from their labor in the classical Marxist sense but also from the results of that labor, too. No longer were chairs made by craftsmen or clothes by the single tailor – unless you could afford the bespoke. Everything from shirtwaists to wrought iron lamps was increasingly mass produced - under wretched conditions, too. Things – including buildings – that were once built to last a lifetime became cheap, disposable, and subject to the whimsy of fashion, sold via this new thing called “the catalog.”
William Morris’ painting Le Belle Iseult (1868).
Unsurprisingly, this new way of living and working caused not a little discontent. This was the climate in which Karl Marx wrote Capital and Charles Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol. More specific to our interests, however, is a different dissenter and one of the most interesting practitioners of medievalism, the English polymath William Morris.
A lover of Arthurian legend and an admirer of the architect and design reformer John Ruskin, Morris was first trained in the office of architect G. E. Street, himself a die-hard Gothic Revivalist. From the very beginning, the Middle Ages can be found everywhere in Morris’ work, from the rough-hewn qualities of the furniture he helped design to the floral elements and compositions of the art nouveau textiles and graphics he’s most famous for – which, it should be said, are reminiscent of 15th century English tapestries. In addition to his design endeavors, Morris was also a gifted writer and poet. His was a profound love for medieval literature, especially Norse sagas from Iceland. Some of these he even translated including the Volsunga Saga – also a preoccupation of Wagner’s. Few among us earn the title of polymath, but Morris’ claim to it is undeniable. Aside from music, there really wasn’t any area of creative life he didn’t touch.
However, Morris’ predilection for the medieval was not just a personal and aesthetic fascination. It was also an expression of his political rejection of the capitalist mode of production. As one of the founders of the English Arts & Crafts Movement, Morris called for a rejection of piecemeal machine labor, a return to handicraft, and overall to things made well and made with dignity. While this was and remains a largely middle class argument, one that usually leads down the road of ethical consumption, Morris was right that capitalism’s failing of design and architecture did not just lie with the depreciated quality of goods, but the depreciated quality of life. His was the utopian call to respect both the object and the laborer who produced it. To quote from his 1888 essay called “The Revival of Architecture,” Morris dreamed of a society that “will produce to live and not live to produce, as we do.” Indeed, in our current era of AI Slop, there remains much to like about the Factory Slop-era call to take back time from the foreman’s clock and once more make labor an act of enjoyable and unalienated creativity. Only now it’s about things like writing an essay.
I bother to describe Morris at length here for a number of reasons. The first is to reiterate that medievalism’s popularity was largely a response to socioeconomic changes. Additionally, since traditionalism - in Ludwig’s time and in ours - still gets weaponized by right-wing losers, it’s worth pointing out that not all practitioners of medievalism were politically reactionary in nature. However – and I will return to this later – medievalism, reactionary or not, remains inescapably nostalgic. Morris is no exception. While a total rejection of mass produced goods may seem quixotic to us now, when Morris was working, the era before mass industrialization remained at the fringes of living memory. Hence the nostalgia is perhaps to be expected. Unfortunately for him and for us, the only way out of capitalism is through it.
To return again to the big picture: whether one liked it or not, the old feudal world was done. Only its necrotic leftovers, namely a hereditary nobility whose power would run out of road in WWI, remained. For Ludwig purposes, it was a fraught political time in Bavaria as well. Bavaria, weird duck that it was, remained relatively autonomous within the new German Reich. Despite the title of king, Ludwig, much to his chagrin - hence the pathetic Middle Ages fantasizing - did not rule absolutely. His was a constitutional monarchy, and an embattled one at that. During the building of Neuschwanstein, the king found himself wedged between the Franco-Prussian War and the political coup masterminded by Otto von Bismarck that would put Europe on the fast track to a global conflict many saw as the atavistic culmination of all that already violent modernity. No wonder he wanted to hide with his Schwans up in the hills of Schwangau.
The very notion of a unified German Reich (or an independent Kingdom of Bavaria) was itself indicative of another development. Regardless if one was liberal or conservative, a king, an artist or a shoe peddler, the 19th century was plagued by the rise of modern nationalism. Bolstered by new ideas in “medical” “science,” this was also a racialized nationalism. A lot of emotional, political, and artistic investment was put into the idea that there existed a fundamentally German volk, a German soil, a German soul. This, however, was a universalizing statement in need of a citation, with lots of political power on the line. Hence, in order to add historical credence to these new conceptions of one’s heritage, people turned to the old sources.
Within the hallowed halls of Europe’s universities, newly minted historians and philologists scoured medieval texts for traces of a people united by a common geography and ethnicity as well as the foundations for a historically continuous state. We now know that this is a problematic and incorrect way of looking at the medieval world, a world that was so very different from our own. A great deal of subsequent medieval scholarship still devotes itself to correcting for these errors. But back then, such scholarly ethics were not to be found and people did what they liked with the sources. A lot of assumptions were made in order to make whatever point one wanted, often about one’s superiority over another. Hell, anyone who’s been on Trad Guy Deus Vult Twitter knows that a lot of assumptions are still made, and for the same purposes.(2)
Meanwhile, outside of the academy, mass print media meant more people were exposed to medieval content than ever before. Translations of chivalric romances such as Wolfgang von Eschenbach’s Parzival and sagas like the Poetic Edda inspired a century’s worth of artists to incorporate these characters and themes into their work. This work was often but of course not always nationalistic in character. Such adaptations for political purposes could get very granular in nature. We all like to point to the greats like William Morris or Richard Wagner (who was really a master of a larger syncretism.) But there were many lesser attempts made by weaker artists that today have an unfortunate bootlicking je nais se quoi to them.
I love a minor tangent related to my interests, so here’s one: a good example of this nationalist granularity comes from Franz Grillparzer’s 1823 pro-Hapsburg play König Ottokars Glück und Ende, which took for its source a deep cut 14th century manuscript called the Styrian Rhyming Chronicle, written by Ottokar Aus Der Gaul. The play concerns the political intrigue around King Ottokar II of Bohemia and his subsequent 1278 defeat at the hands of Grillparzer’s very swagged out Rudolf of Habsburg. Present are some truly fascinating but extremely obscure characters from 13th Holy Roman Empire lore including a long-time personal obsession of mine, the Styrian ministerial and three-time traitor of the Great Interregnum, Frederick V of Pettau. But I’m getting off-topic here. Let’s get back to the castle.
The Throne Room at Neuschwanstein
For architecture, perhaps the most important development in spreading medievalism was this new institution called the “big public museum.” Through a professionalizing field of archaeology and the sickness that was colonialist expansion, bits and bobs of buildings were stolen from places like North Africa, Egypt, the Middle East, and Byzantium, all of which had an enormous impact on latter 19th century architecture. (They were also picked up by early 20th century American architects from H. H. Richardson to Louis Sullivan.) These orientalized fragments were further disseminated through new books, monographs, and later photography.
Meanwhile, developments in fabrication (standardized building materials), construction (namely iron, then steel) and mass production sped things up and reduced costs considerably. Soon, castles and churches in the image of those that once took decades if not a century to build were erected on countless hillsides or in little town squares across the continent. These changes in the material production of architecture are key for understanding “why Neuschwanstein castle looks so weird.”
Part of what gives medieval architecture its character is the sheer embodiment of labor embedded in all those heavy stones, stones that were chiseled, hauled, and set by hand. The Gothic cathedral was a precarious endeavor whose appearance of lightness was not earned easily, which is why, when writing about their sublimity, Edmund Burke invoked not only the play of light and shadow, but the sheer slowness and human toil involved.
This is, of course, not true of our present estate. Neuschwanstein not only eschews the role of a castle as a “fortress to be used in war” (an inherently stereotomic program) but was erected using contemporary materials and techniques that are simply not imbued with the same age or gravitas. Built via a typical brick construction but clad in more impressive sandstone, it’s all far too clean. Neuschwanstein’s proportions seem not only chaotic - towers and windows are strewn about seemingly on a whim - they are also totally irreconcilable with the castle’s alleged typology, in part because we know what a genuine medieval castle looks like.
Ludwig’s palace was a technological marvel of the industrial revolution. Not only did Neuschwanstein have indoor plumbing and central heat, it also used the largest glass windows then in manufacture. It’s not even an Iron Age building. The throne room, seen earlier in this post, required the use of structural steel. None of this is to say that 19th century construction labor was easy. It wasn’t and many people still died, including 30 at Neuschwanstein. It was, however, simply different in character than medieval labor. For all the waxing poetic about handiwork, I’m sure medieval stonemasons would have loved the use of a steam crane.
It’s true that architectural eclecticism (the use of many styles at once) has a knack for undermining the presumed authenticity or fidelity of each style employed. But this somewhat misunderstands the crime. The thing about Neuschwanstein is that its goal was not to be historically authentic at all. Its target realm was that of fantasy. Not only that, a fantasy informed primarily by a contemporary media source. In this, it could be said to be more architecturally successful.
The fantasy of medievalism is very different than the truth of the Middle Ages. As I hinted at before, more than anything else, medievalism was an inherently nostalgic movement, and not only because it was a bedrock of so much children’s literature. People loved it because it promised a bygone past that never existed. The visual and written languages of feudalism, despite it being a terrible socioeconomic system, came into vogue in part because it wasn’t capitalism. We must remember that the 19th century saw industrial capitalism at its newest and rawest. Unregulated, it destroyed every natural resource in sight and subjected people, including children, to horrific labor conditions. It still does, and will probably get worse, but the difference is, we’re somewhat used to it by now. The shock’s worn off.
All that upheaval I talked about earlier made people long for a simplicity they felt was missing. This took many different forms. The rapid advances of secular society and the incursion of science into belief made many crave a greater religiosity. At a time when the effects of wage labor on the family had made womanhood a contested territory, many appeals were made to a divine and innocent feminine a la Lady Guinevere. Urbanization made many wish for a quieter world with less hustle and bustle and better air. These sentiments are not without their reasons. Technological and socioeconomic changes still make us feel alienated and destabilized, hence why there are so many medieval revivals even in our own time. (Chappell Roan of Arc anyone?) Hell, our own rich people aren’t so different from Ludwig either. Mark Zuckerburg owns a Hawaiian island and basically controls the fates of the people who live there lord-in-the-castle-style.
Given all this, it’s not surprising that of the products of the Middle Ages, perhaps chivalric romance was and remains the most popular. While never a real depiction of medieval life (no, all those knights were not dying on the behalf of pretty ladies), such stories of good men and women and their grand adventures still capture the imaginations of children and adults alike. (You will find no greater fan of Parzival than yours truly.) It’s also no wonder the nature of the romance, with its paternalistic patriarchy, its Christianity, its sentimentality around courtly love, and most of all its depiction of the ruling class as noble and benevolent – appealed to someone like Ludwig, both as a quirked-up individual and a member of his class.
It follows, then, that any artist capable of synthesizing all these elements, fears, and desires into an aesthetically transcendent package would’ve had a great effect on such a man. One did, of course. His name was Richard Wagner.
In our next essay, we will witness one of the most astonishing cases of kitsch imitating art. But before there could be Neuschwanstein Castle, there had to be this pretty little opera called Lohengrin.
(2) My favorite insane nationalist claim comes from the 1960s, when the Slovene-American historian Joseph Felicijan claimed that the US’s democracy was based off the 13th century ritual of enthronement practiced by the Dukes of Carinthia because Thomas Jefferson owned a copy of Jean Bodin’s Les six livres de la Republique (1576) in which the rite was mentioned. For more information, see Peter Štih’s book The Middle Ages Between the Alps and the Northern Adriatic (p. 56 for the curious.)
It’s always funny to me when new wealth tries to imitate old wealth, but in a very specific way: by trying to reproduce old ways of building that are no longer viable via mass produced building materials and contractors who are better than average but still not quite in the legion of the bespoke. It’s rarely the case that houses are fully “custom” these days – the amalgamation of all the different parts in a new formation is the “customization” at work. As we can see in this example, this is a truth that is often covered up by excessive decorating.
This 5 bedroom, 6.5 bathroom house, built in 1997 (shocker) will run you an extremely reasonable $3.5 million big ones, but I say extremely reasonable because it wants to be a $10 million house but doesn’t quite get there - after all, it’s made with drywall. The architectural style is not really anything in particular – though the front entrance would like to recall the Tudors. Really it is trying to emulate an existing pastiche style, namely the eclecticism of the 19th century. It also doesn’t do this well.
No stately manor is complete without dueling staircases. Also, I don’t know how to explain it, but every room in this house longs to be a bathroom. Or a powder room. A really big one. It’s probably the floor, and the wallpaper. This is just the appetizer for the main attraction:
Jules Verne larping is so rare in McMansion Hell that you have to commend them for trying. I’m kind of obsessed.
This room is so important to me. It’s like if an Olin Mills (dating myself here) set was an entire room. A sense of watching someone in one’s own house, performing “dinner.” Also I would slay as the swan knight, I have to say, so I get it.
What happened to baskets hanging from the ceiling and powder blue walls and porcelain lined up on the picture rail?
I have seen columns terminating into soffits that would make Scamozzi cry.
In Big America bathing and lavishing is a spectator sport.
Ok, again, the palette of this house is basically The Polar Express mixed with a very bizarre hotel lobby.
The chimney hole is sending me because that does appear to be a working chimney. Like, can you see the smoke come out? Who knows!
Anyway, happy Thanksgiving to everyone, and I’m especially thankful to the folks who sponsor me on Patreon! If you want to see more scenes from this house, that’s the place to do it!
Quick PSA: someone on Facebook is apparently impersonating me using an account called “McMansion Hell 2.0” – If you see it, please report! Thanks!
Howdy folks! I hope if you were born between 1995 and 2001 you’re ready for some indelible pre-recession vibes because I think this entire house, including the photos have not been touched since that time.
This Wake County, NC house, built in 2007, currently boasts a price tag of 1.7 million smackaroos. Its buxom 4 bedrooms and 4.5 baths brings the total size to a completely reasonable and not at all housing-bubble-spurred 5,000 square feet.
I know everyone (at least on TikTok) thinks 2007 and goes immediately to the Tuscan theming trend that was super popular at the time (along with lots of other pseudo-euro looks, e.g. “french country” “tudor” etc). In reality, a lot of decor wasn’t particularly themed at all but more “transitional” which is to say, neither contemporary nor super traditional. This can be pulled off (in fact, it’s where the old-school Joanna Gaines excelled) but it’s usually, well, bland. Overwhelmingly neutral. Still, these interiors stir up fond memories of the last few months before mommy was on the phone with the bank crying.
I think I’ve seen these red/navy/beige rugs in literally every mid-2000s time capsule house. I want to know where they came from first and how they came to be everywhere. My mom got one from Kirkland’s Home back in the day. I guess the 2010s equivalent would be those fake distressed overdyed rugs.
I hate the kitchen bench trend. Literally the most uncomfortable seating imaginable for the house’s most sociable room. You are not at a 19th century soda fountain!!! You are a salesforce employee in Ohio!!!
You could take every window treatment in this house and create a sampler. A field guide to dust traps.
Before I demanded privacy, my parents had a completely beige spare bedroom. Truly random stuff on the walls. An oversized Monet poster they should have kept tbh. Also putting the rug on the beige carpet here is diabolical.
FYI the term “Global Village Coffeehouse” originates with the design historian Evan Collins whose work with the Consumer Aesthetics Research Institute!!!!
This photo smells like a Yankee Candle.
Ok, now onto the last usable photo in the set:
No but WHY is the house a different COLOR??????? WHAT?????
Alright, I hope you enjoyed this special trip down memory lane! Happy (American) Labor Day Weekend! (Don’t forget that labor is entitled to all it creates!)
Howdy folks! Today’s McMansion is very special because a) we’re returning to Maryland after a long time and b) because the street this McMansion is on is the same as my name. (It was not named after me.) Hence, it is my personal McMansion, which I guess is somewhat like when people used to by the name rights to stars even though it was pretty much a scam. (Shout out btw to my patron Andros who submitted this house to be roasted live on the McMansion Hell Patreon Livestream)
As far as namesake McMansions go, this one is pretty good in the sense that it is high up there on the ol’ McMansion scale. Built in 2011, this psuedo-Georgian bad boy boasts 6 bedrooms and 9.5 baths, all totaling around 12,000 square feet. It’ll run you 2.5 million which, safe to say, is exponentially larger than its namesake’s net worth.
Now, 2011 was an anonymous year for home design, lingering in the dead period between the 2008 black hole and 2013 when the market started to actually, finally, steadily recover. As a result a lot of houses from this time basically look like 2000s McMansions but slightly less outrageous in order to quell recession-era shame.
I’m going to be so serious here and say that the crown molding in this room is a crime against architecture, a crime against what humankind is able to accomplish with mass produced millwork, and also a general affront to common sense. I hate it so much that the more I look at it the more angry I become and that’s really not healthy for me so, moving on.
Actually, aside from the fake 2010s distressed polyester rug the rest of this room is literally, basically Windows 98 themed.
I feel like the era of massive, hefty sets of coordinated furniture are over. However, we’re the one’s actually missing out by not wanting this stuff because we will never see furniture made with real wood instead of various shades of MDF or particleboard ever again.
This is a top 10 on the scale of “least logical kitchen I’ve ever seen.” It’s as though the designers engineered this kitchen so that whoever’s cooking has to take the most steps humanly possible.
Do you ever see a window configuration so obviously made up by window companies in the 1980s that you almost have to hand it to them? You’re literally letting all that warmth from the fire just disappear. But whatever I guess it’s fine since we basically just LARP fire now.
Feminism win because women’s spaces are prioritized in a shared area or feminism loss because this is basically the bathroom vanity version of women be shopping? (It’s the latter.)
I couldn’t get to all of this house because there were literally over a hundred photos in the listing but there are so many spaces in here that are basically just half-empty voids, and if not that then actually, literally unfinished. It’s giving recession. Anyway, now for the best part:
Not only is this the NBA Backrooms but it’s also just a nonsensical basketball court. Tile floors? No lines? Just free balling in the void?
Oh, well I bet the rear exterior is totally normal.
Not to be all sincere about it but much like yours truly who has waited until the literal last second to post this McMansion, this house really is the epitome of hubris all around. Except the house’s hubris is specific to this moment in time, a time when gas was like $2/gallon. It’s climate hubris. It’s a testimony to just how much energy the top 1% of income earners make compared to the rest of us. I have a single window unit. This house has four air conditioning condensers. That’s before we get to the monoculture, pesticide-dependent lawn or the three car garage or the asphalt driveway or the roof that’ll cost almost as much as the house to replace. We really did think it would all be endless. Oops.
Often I find myself nostalgic for things that haven’t disappeared yet. This feeling is enhanced by the strange conviction that once I stop looking at these things, I will never see them again, that I am living in the last moment of looking. This is sense is strongest for me in the interiors of buildings perhaps because, like items of clothing, they are of a fashionable nature, in other words, more impermanent than they probably should be.
As I get older, to stumble on something truly dated, once a drag, is now a gift. After over a decade of real estate aggregation and the havoc it’s wreaked on how we as a society perceive and decorate houses, if you’re going to Zillow to search for the dated (which used to be like shooting fish in a barrel), you’ll be searching aimlessly, for hours, to increasingly no avail, even with all the filters engaged. (The only way to get around this is locational knowledge of datedness gleaned from the real world.) If you try to find images of the dated elsewhere on the internet, you will find that the search is not intuitive. In this day and age, you cannot simply Google “80s hotel room” anymore, what with the disintegration of the search engine ecosystem and the AI generated nonsense and the algorithmic preference for something popular (the same specific images collected over and over again on social media), recent, and usually a derivative of the original search query (in this case, finding material along the lines of r/nostalgia or the Backrooms.)
To find what one is looking for online, one must game the search engine with filters that only show content predating 2021, or, even better, use existing resources (or those previously discovered) both online and in print. In the physical world of interiors, to find what one is looking for one must also now lurk around obscure places, and often outside the realm of the domestic which is so beholden to and cursed by the churn of fashion and the logic of speculation. Our open world is rapidly closing, while, paradoxically, remaining ostensibly open. It’s true, I can open Zillow. I can still search. In the curated, aggregated realm, it is becoming harder and harder to find, and ultimately, to look.
But what if, despite all these changes, datedness was never really searchable? This is a strange symmetry, one could say an obscurity, between interiors and online. It is perhaps unintentional, and it lurks in the places where searching doesn’t work, one because no one is searching there, or two, because an aesthetic, for all our cataloguing, curation, aggregation, hoarding, is not inherently indexable and even if it was, there are vasts swaths of the internet and the world that are not categorized via certain - or any - parameters. The internet curator’s job is to find them and aggregate them, but it becomes harder and harder to do. They can only be stumbled upon or known in an outside, offline, historical or situational way. If to index, to aggregate, is, or at least was for the last 30 years, to profit (whether monetarily or in likes), then to be dated, in many respects, is the aesthetic manifestation of barely breaking even. Of not starting, preserving, or reinventing but just doing a job.
We see this online as well. While the old-web Geocities look and later Blingee MySpace-era swag have become aestheticized and fetishized, a kind of naive art for a naive time, a great many old websites have not received the same treatment. These are no less naive but they are harder to repackage or commodify because they are simple and boring. They are not “core” enough.
As with interiors, web datedness can be found in part or as a whole. For example, sites like Imgur or Reddit are not in and of themselves dated but they are full of remnants, of 15-year old posts and their “you, sir, have won the internet” vernacular that certainly are. Other websites are dated because they were made a long time ago by and for a clientele that doesn’t have a need or the skill to update (we see this often with Web 2.0 e-commerce sites that figured out how to do a basic mobile page and reckoned it was enough). The next language of datedness, like the all-white landlord-special interior, is the default, clean Squarespace restaurant page, a landing space that’s the digital equivalent of a flyer, rarely gleaned unless someone needs a menu, has a food allergy or if information about the place is not available immediately from Google Maps. I say this only to maintain that there is a continuity in practices between the on- and off-line world beyond what we would immediately assume, and that we cannot blame everything on algorithms.
But now you may ask, what is, exactly, datedness? Having spent two days in a distinctly dated hotel room, I’ve decided to sit in utter boredom with the numinous past and try and pin it down.
II.
I am in an obscure place. I am in Saint-Georges, Quebec, Canada, on assignment. I am staying at a specific motel, the Voyageur. By my estimation the hotel was originally built in the late seventies and I’d be shocked if it was older than 1989. The hotel exterior was remodeled sometime in the 2000s with EIFS cladding and beige paint. Above is a picture of my room, which, forgive me, is in the process of being inhabited. American (and to a lesser extent Canadian) hotel rooms are some of the most churned through, renovated spaces in the world, and it’s pretty rare, unless you’re staying in either very small towns or are forced by economic necessity to stay at real holes in the wall, to find ones from this era. The last real hitter for me was a 90s Day’s Inn in the meme-famous Breezewood, PA during the pandemic.
At first my reaction to seeing the room was cautionary. It was the last room in town, and certainly compared to other options, probably not the world’s first choice. However, after staying in real, genuine European shitholes covering professional cycling I’ve become a class-A connoisseur of bad rooms. This one was definitively three stars. A mutter of “okay time to do a quick look through.” But upon further inspection (post-bedbug paranoia) I came to the realization that maybe the always-new brainrot I’d been so critical of had seeped a teeny bit into my own subconscious and here I was snubbing my nose at a blessing in disguise. The room is not a bad room, nor is it unclean. It’s just old. It’s dated. We are sentimental about interiors like this now because they are disappearing, but they are for my parents what 2005 beige-core is for me and what 2010s greige will become for the generation after. When I’m writing about datedness, I’m writing in general using a previous era’s examples because datedness, by its very nature, is a transitional status. Its end state is the mixed emotion of seeing things for what they are yet still appreciating them, expressed here.
Datedness is the period between vintage and contemporary. It is the sentiment between quotidian and subpar. It is uncurated and preserved only by way of inertia, not initiative. It gives us a specific feeling we don’t necessarily like, one that is deliberately evoked in the media subcultures surrounding so-called “liminal” spaces: the fuguelike feeling of being spatially trapped in a time while our real time is passing. Datedness in the real world is not a curated experience, it is only what was. It is different from nostalgia because it is not deliberately remembered, yearned for or attached to sweetness. Instead, it is somehow annoying. It is like stumbling into the world of adults as a child, but now you’re the adult and the child in you is disappointed. (The real child-you forgot a dull hotel room the moment something more interesting came along.) An image of my father puts his car keys on the table, looks around and says, “It’ll do.” We have an intolerance for datedness because it is the realization of what sufficed. Sufficiency in many ways implies lack.
However, for all its datedness, many, if not all, of the things in this room will never be seen again if the room is renovated. They will become unpurchaseable and extinct. Things like the bizarrely-patterned linoleum tile in the shower, the hose connecting to the specific faucet of the once-luxurious (or at least middling) jacuzzi tub whose jets haven’t been exercised since the fall of the Berlin Wall. The wide berth of the tank on the toilet. There is nothing, really, worth saving about these things. Even the most sentimental among us wouldn’t dare argue that the items and finishes in this room are particularly important from a design or historical standpoint. Not everything old has a patina. They’re too cheaply made to salvage. Plastic tile. Bowed plywood. The image-artifacts of these rooms, gussied up for Booking dot com, will also, inevitably disappear, relegated to the dustheap of web caches and comments that say “it was ok kinda expensive but close to twon (sic).” You wouldn’t be able to find them anyway unless you were looking for a room.
One does, of course, recognize a little bit of design in what’s here. Signifiers of an era. The wood-veneer of the late 70s giving way to the pastel overtones of the 80s. Perhaps even a slow 90s. The all-in-one vanity floating above the floor, a modernist basement bathroom hallmark. White walls as a sign of cleanliness. Gestures, in the curved lines of the nightstands, towards postmodernity. Metallic lamp bases with wide-brimmed shades, a whisper of glamor. A kind of scalloped aura to the club chairs. The color teal mediated through hundreds if not thousands of shoes. Yellowing plastic, including the strips of “molding” that visually tie floor to wall. These are remnants (or are they intuitions?) of so many movements and micromovements, none of them definite enough to point to the influence of a single designer, hell, even of a single decade, just strands of past-ness accumulated into one thread, which is cheapness. Continuity exists in the materials only because everything was purchased as a set from a wholesale catalog.
In some way a hotel is supposed to be placeless. Anonymous. Everything tries to be that way now, even houses. Perhaps because we don’t like the way we spy on ourselves and lease our images out to the world so we crave the specificity of hotel anonymity, of someplace we move through on our way to bigger, better or at least different things. The hotel was designed to be frictionless but because it is in a little town, it sees little use and because it sees little use, there are elements that can last far longer than they were intended and which inadvertently cause friction. (The janky door unlocks with a key. The shower hose keeps coming out of the faucet. It’s deeply annoying.)
Lack of wear and lack of funds only keep them that way. Not even the paper goods of the eighties have been exhausted yet. Datedness is not a choice but an inevitability. Because it is not a choice, it is not advertised except in a utilitarian sense. It is kept subtle on the hotel websites, out of shame. Because it does not subscribe to an advertiser’s economy of the now, of the curated type rather than the “here is my service” type, it disappears into the folds of the earth and cannot be searched for in the way “design” can. It can only be discovered by accident.
When I look at all of these objects and things, I do so knowing I will never see them again, at least not all here together like this, as a cohesive whole assembled for a specific purpose. I don’t think I’ll ever have reason to come back to this town or this place, which has given me an unexpected experience of being peevish in my father’s time. Whenever I end up in a place like this, where all is as it was, I get the sense that it will take a very long time for others to experience this sensation again with the things my generation has made. The machinations of fashion work rapaciously to make sure that nothing is ever old, not people, not rooms, not items, not furniture, not fabrics, not even design, that old matron who loves to wax poetic about futurity and timelessness. The plastic-veneered particleboard used here is now the bedrock of countless landfills. Eventually it will become the chemical-laced soil upon which we build our condos. It is possible that we are standing now at the very last frontier of our prior datedness. The next one has not yet elided. It’s a special place. Spend a night. Take pictures.
Sometimes I just want to get on my hobbyhorse, which for about a year now has been the middle ages but surely will soon be something else. (Please hyperfixation gods, make it financial literacy.) Anyway, I meandered around the nation (online) in search of another opportunity to play another round of America Does Medieval. It took me a while for fortune to reward me but it finally did in the long-running McMansion Hell of Denton County, Texas.
2007 McMansions are pretty rare and it’s even rarer for them to have the original interiors. This one, clocking in at 5 beds, 6 baths, and almost 7200 square feet will set you back a reasonable $2.3 million. We complain a lot about the hegemony of gray these days, but this is hindsight bias. Longtime readers will recall that the color beige walked so gray could run, and this house is emblematic of that fact.
It’s…uncommon to see ordinary contractors try their hands at gothic arches and for all intents and purposes, I think this one did a pretty good job rendering the ineffable in common drywall. Credit where credit is due. Unfortunately the Catholic in me can’t help but feel that this is the house equivalent of those ultra trad converts on Reddit who have Templar avatars and spend their days complaining about Vatican II.
Sometimes I still get the ever-dwindling pleasure of seeing the type of room that has never before existed in human history and definitely won’t ever exist again. Certain material conditions (oil, lots of it, a media ecosystem in which historical literacy is set primarily by cartoons, adjustable rate mortgages) brought this space into the world in a way that cannot be recreated organically. Let us marvel.
Christ might need to be invoked should I choose to make a sweet potato casserole.
You can tell that ornament is fabricated because they made precisely TWO of them that are IDENTICAL. You could have fooled us into thinking a craftsman did this by hand from local Texas marble (or whatever), but alas greed got in the way of guile.
As someone who writes fiction on the weekends, I often feel the acute pain of having an imagination greater than my talent and an artistic vision detached from being able to effectively execute it. In this respect, this room speaks to me.
RIP Trump btw. Don’t know if y'all saw the news yet.
I know a lot about medieval bathing for completely normal reasons (writing fiction, winning online arguments, stoned youtube binges)
I feel like most of my forms of social adaptation as a person on the spectrum comprise of sneaking in my holy autistic interest du jour into conversations as subtly as I can manage. I’m doing it right now.
Okay, so, there were no rear exterior photos of this house because, having used every square inch of lot, the whole thing is smashed up against a fence and there is simply no way of getting that desired perspective without trespassing and that’s a mortal risk in the state of Texas. So I’ll leave you with this final room, the completely medieval in-home theater.
That’s all for now, folks. Stay tuned for next month, where we will be going down a cult compound rabbit hole in the Great Plains.
Today’s house, built in 2001, comes to you from, you guessed it, the Chicago suburbs. The house is a testimony to traditional craftsmanship and traditional values (having lots of money.) The cost of painting this house greige is approximately the GDP of Slovenia so the owners have decided to keep it period perfect (beige.) Anyway.
This 5 bedroom, 7.5 bathroom house clocks in at a completely reasonable 12,700 square feet. If you like hulking masses and all-tile interiors, it could be all yours for the reasonable price of $2.65 million.
The problem with having a house that is 12,700 square feet is that they have to go somewhere. At least 500 of them were devoted to this foyer. Despite the size, I consider this a rather cold and lackluster welcome. Cold feet anyone?
The theme of this house is, vaguely, “old stuff.” Kind of like if Chuck E Cheese did the sets for Spartacus. Why the dining room is on a platform is a good question. The answer: the American mind desires clearly demarcated space, which, sadly, is verboten in our culture.
The other problem with a 12,700 square foot house is that even huge furniture looks tiny in it.
Entering cheat codes in “Kitchen Building Sim 2000” because I spent my entire $70,000 budget on the island.
Of course, a second sitting room (without television) is warranted. Personally, speaking, I’m team Prince.
I wonder why rich people do this. Surely they must know it’s tacky right? That it’s giving Liberace? (Ask your parents, kids.) That it’s giving Art.com 75% off sale if you enter the code ROMANEMPIRE.
Something about the bathroom really just says “You know what, I give up. Who cares?” But this is not even the worst part of the bathroom…
Not gonna lie, this activates my flight or fight response.
If you remember Raggedy Ann you should probably schedule your first colonoscopy.
Anyways, that does it for the interior. Let’s take a nice peek at what’s out back.
I love mowing in a line. I love monomaniacal tasks that are lethal to gophers.
Alright, that does it for this edition of McMansion Hell. Back to the book mines for me. Bonus posts up on Patreon soon.
I am writing this over the Easter weekend and our first afternoon watching cycling. A thrilling circuit race in Holland saw the Dane Skjelmose beat Pogacar in a photo finish. We look forward to more in the build-up to the Tour - French tv does these events proud.
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